


If we reached up high enough, would we touch the sky?

by wwayel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Hurt/Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving On, Please Don't Hate Me, Realization, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Shiratorizawa, Trauma, What Have I Done, wwayel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwayel/pseuds/wwayel
Summary: Ushijima never liked hanging out at the rooftop of their apartment building. But that changed when he met Tendou, the red-haired boy in his pajamas at that one night, looking out into the city lights beyond his reach.
Relationships: Tendou Satori & Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	If we reached up high enough, would we touch the sky?

**Author's Note:**

> A story I thought of while listening to some sad songs. These two hold a very special place in my heart. I have always found their dynamic so adorable, Tendou was always the energetic one and Ushijima would often be laid back/stoic. I hope whoever reads this, enjoys it. Thank you for stopping by! It really means a lot to me. =]

It has been an hour and thirty minutes.

An hour and thirty minutes of Ushijima Wakatoshi tossing and turning in his sleep. He grunted in dismay as he sat up, stretching his neck as he did so. He looked at the clock, it was already one in the morning. If he didn’t want to slack off in practice, he better get a good night’s sleep. Slacking off wasn’t in his vocabulary after all. For Ushijima, it was all or nothing.

He sighed as he looked at his four-foot cow plushie beside him, who he hasn’t yet given a name, before tucking it to sleep. He even contemplated naming it ‘cow’. Yes, just ‘cow’. He’s still not sure though. It was a prize he got at a carnival the other day. What was the game called again? High striker? It seemed simple so he decided to try it and in the end he won the cow that he treasured very much.

He tried walking around his apartment before going back to bed to sleep again, but to no avail. Frustrated, he grabbed his phone, wincing at the brightness of his phone screen. He opened Google and typed: ‘How to fall asleep fast?’ He clicked on an article and read through it. He followed the steps, yet sleep still didn’t come. It seemed like the god of sleep didn’t want to cradle Ushijima in his arms yet.

He threw on his sweatshirt. Ushijima is the type of guy to sleep without a shirt on. He doesn’t have any reason behind it, he just liked the feeling of his bare back softly laying on his warm and comfortable mattress.

He has decided to take a little run in order to tire himself out since none of the other things were working. He had regretted drinking that energy drink his teammate gave him. Now he had trouble falling asleep. He wore his running shoes on, it was given by a sponsor in his earlier games. They were new and he wanted to break them in just a little bit to get rid of the stiffness. He then grabbed a cap hanging from the hook by the door. Ushijima was never the type to wear caps but it was a gift from a friend so he decided to keep it. It’s pretty nice too. It’s snug.

He locked the door of his apartment and placed the keys in his pockets for safe-keeping. If he ever lost it, there was always a spare one underneath his potted plant he named Berry. It was not a berry bush though, he just happened to like the name. His neighbor who happened to love plants asked what the name of the plant was the other day and Ushijima, without thinking, said Berry. Ever since then, he started calling it Berry. Every morning before leaving his apartment, he would say good morning to it, and everytime he would return, he would greet it as well.

Ushijima stretched a bit before running. It was cold and quiet outside, but it was pretty bright considering how late—or early—it was. Aside from the lamppost giving a source of light, the sky was pretty bright too, and the light on the buildings around him seemed to be open 24/7. 

Ushijima stopped running when he noticed a poster at a small store. It was a bunch of ads and promotions: vegetables for fifty percent off, 3 in 1 shampoo, a new edition of ‘how to cook when you don’t know how to cook: a cookbook for newbies, and other things. Ushijima took note of the name of the building, maybe he’ll buy his groceries here instead since the deals were amazing. Once he finished reading all the ads, he started running again.

He decided to run for fifteen minutes before returning back home.

“Went for a late-night—err, rather an early morning jog are we?” His neighbor asked. He has ashy gray hair that was often styled. He’s wearing a warm-looking sweater and a pair of gray sweats. He was holding a cup of something—Ushijima concluded that it was warm milk—in his hand.

“Yeah, can’t sleep,” was Ushijima’s answer.

His neighbor nodded, sipping on his drink as he did so, then making a face as if it was too hot for him.

“How about you?”

The man scratched his head before answering. “My cat ran off again, I have to find her. That girl always runs into trouble whenever I’m not around,” he said, mumbling the last part. “Anyway, I’m off now! You have a good sleep!”

Ushijima just nodded at the man before getting his keys from his pockets.

“Hello, Berry,” he greeted his potted plant as he placed his keys in the lock. He turned the knob and entered before hanging his keys on the hook behind the door and once again, locking the door. 

He stripped off his clothes and took a nice warm shower. It was quick since he wanted to go to bed as soon as possible. He didn’t want to be sloppy on practice—no, he wanted to be the best. After all, his team would be counting on him the most in every game. He didn’t want to disappoint them. Maybe he felt pressured, maybe he was afraid of the possible guilt and backlash he would get when he messed up, but for the meantime, he decided to ignore them.

Even just for a while. After all, he wasn’t sure if his teammates would really feel that way. Maybe it’s all just in his head.

He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and wore it before drying his hair with the towel. When he finished, he flopped down his bed and inhaled the warm and comforting scent of his bed. He liked the scent, maybe he should buy more of those fabric softener and detergent he bought on sale the other day. They were sold in bigger bulks, though Ushijima’s apartment wasn’t that big so he decided to get the smaller ones instead.

He felt himself slowly drifting into sleep, the warmth of his bed seemed to be cradling him, and the white noise of the cars smoothly passing by and the light sound of wind seemed like a lullaby to his ears. Slowly now, maybe Hypnos will do his job on putting him to sleep.

Ushijima sighed in relief. Finally.

“YAAAAHOOOOOOOOO!”

Ushijima jolted awake when he heard someone shout. He was certain it was from the rooftop, since it was just right above his apartment. He groaned in frustration and covered his face with his pillow, forcing himself to sleep. 

“WOOOOOOOOO! I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME! TAKE THAT UNIVERSE! YOU AND YOUR UNFORGIVING SHITS!”

Ushijima muttered a curse before throwing his pillow. It hit his cow plushie and he quickly apologized, feeling bad. He opened his window and peaked his head outside but he couldn’t see whoever it was on the rooftop. He could hear music too, as if it was being blasted from a crappy broken Bluetooth speaker. His neighbors didn’t seem to be bothered by the noise, maybe they’re all fast asleep.

Lucky, Ushijima thought. The man with ashy gray hair wasn’t in his apartment too so it’s not like he’s going to be bothered by the noise.

Ushijima didn’t bother putting a shirt on as he stepped outside of his unit. He walked up the stairs to the rooftop. He knocked lightly at the door, the music must be too loud for the person to hear it. He knocked again, much louder this time, but to no avail. So he opened the door, and stepped into the rooftop. The air was cold, creating goosebumps on his skin.

Ushijima never liked hanging out here on the rooftop. He just didn’t find it special in any way. There would sometimes be small puddles on the floor caused by the rain, and over all, it just looked like a sad mess. There’s an old broken couch at the side, some rusty wire clothes rack that no one ever used, and a bunch of other things, from broken pots to tires.

But this time, it wasn’t just those things. There was a tall and rather scrawny man with red hair. Ushijima wondered how his hair could go up like that, that must’ve taken him a huge tub of hair gel. Speaking of, there’s a hair gel ad he saw at a magazine the other day. Maybe he uses that.

The man was in his pajamas—a matching plaid shirt and pajamas. He was holding the Bluetooth speaker in one hand while dancing freely, a soft expression evident on his face. Ushijima found the scene odd. It wasn’t a day-to-day occurrence that he would see something like this. 

“You make me feel like I’m alive again—oH FUCKING HELL!” The red-haired man almost stumbled back in shock upon seeing Ushijima. “You scared the bejeebers out of me! My heart almost jumped out of my chest dude!”

What could you expect? It was late in the night and suddenly this man—a rather gorgeous hunk of a man if he can say so himself, I mean, he isn’t going to deny that—would appear by the door without saying anything. The red-haired man turned his Bluetooth speaker off before giving the man an awkward smile. The red-haired man’s heart beat rapidly, he really thought it’s going to pop out.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Ushijima said sincerely. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” The man rubbed his chest, an attempt to calm his heart. “Hey there buddy, wanna party with me? It’s fun, y'know?”

“Good evening,” Ushijima said, still standing by the door. “Or rather, good morning,” he said once he remembered that it wasn’t really post meridiem anymore. “You are being too loud.”

The red-haired man was surprised by the man’s bluntness and let out a chuckle. “Hmm? I guess I was. Sorry about that,” he gave him a boyish grin. “Well on a second thought, not really. I was having a lot of fun. I can’t really say sorry if I don’t mean it now can I?”

“Please at least keep it down,” Ushijima said, crossing his arms over his chest in order to warm himself up. “Some of us have things to do tomorrow and are trying to get some sleep.” 

He badly wanted to go back to his apartment and cover himself with his blanket because boy, isn’t it cold outside! He didn’t intend to have a full-on conversation with the guy, yet there he was.

“Lucky you,” The red-haired man sang. “Sorry for bothering your beauty sleep, then.”

“I don’t ‘beauty sleep’. I just sleep… like a normal person,” Ushijima said in all seriousness that made the man laugh.

“Aren’t you a funny guy!” He giggled. 

“But, I’m not joking.”

“Mhmm. Sure,” The guy just nodded. “I’m Tendou Satori by the way. You can call me Tendou—or Satori, I don’t really care. You could call me babe if you want, though I don’t take you as a guy who does that. Call stranger names other than their own, I mean.”

“Ushijima Wakatoshi—and no, not really,” Ushijima nodded at the man. 

Tendou’s mouth went agape upon hearing the man’s name. Tendou almost felt stupid not realizing who it was sooner. He blamed the dim lights around them for not showing the man’s face more clearly. That or his vision was just acting up. How can he also not realize who the voice belonged to?

“No freaking way!”

“What?” Ushijima was genuinely confused as to why Tendou was acting like this. Did he not like his name? Ushijima thought that his name was quite beautiful. Why was he acting so surprised?

“THE Ushijima Wakatoshi?”

“Yes, are there any other Ushijima Wakatoshi around?” Ushijima asked. He wasn’t acting proud or anything, he was genuinely confused. This made Tendou laugh as he made his way towards the man. 

He couldn’t believe it, Ushijima Wakatoshi was here, flesh and bones and all that, living in the apartment building that Tendou was crashing into for the meantime. The rising star of volleyball, the one everyone wants to beat. Tendou couldn’t help but to fanboy a bit. I mean, he has watched all of his games and he couldn’t help but be in awe of Ushijima’s abilities. He was like a tank or something! Tendou started fidgeting with his fingers out of excitement. Ushijima noticed that, but didn’t say anything.

“Dude, you’re like a star. The Miracle Boy, they say! Be a little more proud or something!” Tendou said as he patted the bigger man on his shoulder. 

“I am proud.”

“But you don’t show it!”

“I am proud whenever I’m in the court,” Ushijima said. That is true, Tendou knew that too. He watched all of his games after all.

“I would ask for your autograph but I haven’t got any pen… or paper for you to sign on.” Tendou chuckled. “I guess I’ll just have to treasure this moment, buddy. Capture the moment with my own two eyes. Hmm?”

Ushijima could only nod. He looked around the rooftop once more and noticed a duffel bag and a suitcase on the side by the door. He also noticed that the couch and the clothes line were now close together, a blanket draping on top of them. There were pillows too that Ushijima assumed belonged to Tendou. The area seemed like a fort, like how the little kids would do every now and then. Ushijima briefly looked at Tendou. There were bags under his eyes and he was pale and thin. Ushijima concluded that he might be spending the night here, though he wasn’t entirely sure.

“What are you doing here?” Ushijima asked. “Shouldn’t you be in your apartment or something?”

“Well, I would tell you my backstory, but it sure will be a long long long long one,” Tendou dragged his every word, emphasizing how long his story would be. “Besides, you look like you could get some sleep, Miracle boy. So, why don’t you just go back to bed, and I swear on my life I won’t make some unnecessary loud noise—I wouldn’t want to be kicked out of here too, that is. Is that a deal? I wouldn’t want to make a bad impression on my idol.”

“Are you going to sleep here? It’s a bit cold.”

“You’re cold because you’re shirtless. Which, hey, nice muscles by the way.”

“Thank you, I worked hard for it,” Ushijima faintly smiled, feeling a little bit proud of his body. He had been lifting weights recently as well as working on his volleyball skills. It was no wonder he was fit.

“No problem. And don’t worry, I’ll be fine, thanks for the concern,” Tendou said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “What a dream. Imagine your idol caring for you! Wow.”

Ushijima nodded, wanting to go back to sleep as soon as possible. Even though he just met Tendou, he had this urge to immediately trust the guy. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his out-going personality, or the current state he was in.

“But your story, I would like to listen to it sometime,” said Ushijima, earning a chuckle from the other man.

Tendou gave the man a thumbs-up, grinning. “Sure, I’ll still be here tomorrow. Don’t worry buddy, I’m not going anywhere.”

It’s not like Tendou can go anywhere either, though he chooses not to say it.

“Okay,” Ushijima nodded once again.

“Night night, miracle boy. Sweet dreams.”

With that, Ushijima took his leave. Before the door fully closed, he caught a sight of Tendou, a solemn expression evident on his face as he leaned on the railing and looked at the city lights beyond his reach.

“You look rough,” one of Ushijima’s teammates told him when they saw the olive-haired man approaching. “Did you rest well?”

“No,” was Ushijima’s only answer.

Ushijima was wearing his usual training attire, a black t-shirt, his huge training jacket, and a pair of volleyball shorts. He placed his duffel bag on the bench before doing some light stretches. He was feeling a little bit sleepy. Maybe he should’ve bought that 3-in-1 coffee he saw at the mart earlier when he was making his way to practice. He did however buy the ‘energy drink that will surely wake you up!’ the other day. He placed it in his bag earlier before leaving his apartment.

As Ushijima was elsewhere making his volleyball dreams come true, Tendou sat on the old worn-out sofa on the rooftop of a random apartment building that he wasn’t even a resident in, contemplating what to do with his life. His back and neck aches due to sleeping on an uncomfortable couch. No wonder they threw it up there.

“People surely do like to throw things out whenever it doesn’t matter to them anymore,” Tendou chuckled lowly, the bitter feeling from his words never leaving him. “This sucks. I suck. Everything sucks.”

Tendou never wanted to think of himself as bad-luck because he doesn’t believe in such things. He doesn’t want to. He likes to think of himself as the main character in a ratchet coming of age movie. Only he’s living the dramatic arc of the movie, the one where the main character’s life is crumbling down and slowly falling apart. Yes, that’s exactly it.

At least, that’s what he forces himself to believe. 

He didn’t want to bring himself now or else his intrusive thoughts might kick down the walls he has been building and take shelter in his mind again. He didn’t want to relive the dark days again. He didn’t want the darkness to suck his soul away, devouring every inch of his insanity away, driving him crazier and crazier like a mad man behind a steering wheel.

He didn’t want it, but fuck, there’s nothing he can do. It was slowly making its way back into Tendou’s mind. Tendou felt like he was going insane.

“Get out,” he whispered. “Please… I don’t want it.”

It was not him. This was not him, he knew that. It was as if someone else possessed his body, polluting his mind with unwanted thoughts, crushing his soul and mind away in the process.

Five months ago, Tendou never thought that his life could get any better. Yes, that was sarcasm right there. He went out of his way to explore a city he has never been in because of a promise, a promise of a better future and getting scammed in the process. Months and months of just trying to survive in this unforgiving world. Months and months of moving from apartment to apartment because the neighbors couldn’t handle his spontaneous outbursts of energy. Months and months of trying to apply for jobs but never getting calls back. Months and months of waking up and questioning the meaning of his life. 

Yes, Tendou never thought that his life could get any better. Because it might never be.

He couldn’t even return back to his hometown without feeling guilt and embarrassment. He couldn’t even bring himself to ask for help after all the things that he said to his family. He’ll be laughed at, he’ll be poked fun at. He already had it rough as a kid, he didn’t want to go through that again as an adult. He felt pathetic. He felt like he’s just a pathetic excuse of a man.

Sometimes, he would wish that the world would just swallow him whole, engulfing his body together with all his puny problems and pathetic excuse of insecurity. Maybe even remove any trace of his presence, as if he never existed in this world. He badly wanted to let all of it go. It was evident that Tendou was tired with all the bullshit the world was giving him. 

But there he was, spacing out on the old and worn-out sofa of a random apartment building.

“But your story, I would like to listen to it sometime.”

Ushijima’s voice rang around his head, messing with his already messy train of thoughts. Tendou felt like a hypocrite, how could he promise the man such a thing? He wasn’t even sure if he could stay here for longer. He was sure that any moment now, someone would open that damn door, shouting at him to get out or else they’ll call the police. After all, what he’s doing is trespassing.

And the door did open. Tendou flinched.

Tendou braced himself for the screaming landlord, but neither the screaming nor the landlord came. Instead, there was Ushijima, dressed in his practice attire, a plastic bag containing food in his hand. Tendou’s stomach rumbled. He didn’t get to eat last night and he didn’t get to eat when he woke up. Besides, he doesn’t have enough money in his pockets right now to splurge on food.

Tendou greeted Ushijima with a grin as if his mind wasn’t going crazy earlier, before grabbing a monobloc chair and dusting it off so the big guy could sit. Tendou forgot what day it was, or what time it was. He guessed that it was kind of early in the afternoon, around 1 pm since the sun’s rays were shining so harshly and the roads were packed with cars and people walking by.

“What do you have there, buddy?” He asked Ushijima though he already knew what it was. Tendou wanted to eat so bad, his tongue and stomach was craving any kind of food he could get. 

“A burger. Would you want some?” Ushijima said, taking a peek at his food. “It was two for the price of one, so I now have four. I thought you might be hungry. I also bought some water.”

“Gee, never saw a skinny man like me?” Tendou tried to joke but Ushijima didn’t laugh. “I’ll make you laugh one day with my jokes, buddy. Mark my words.”

“Okay, I’ll look forward to that, buddy,” Ushijima said while giving two spare burgers to Tendou. 

Tendou laughed in response. Although Ushijima is one heck of a good-looking beefy guy, he’s kind of awkward. Tendou liked that. It makes him seem more human rather than a scary muscle-y guy. Tendou thought that Ushijima’s awkwardness was endearing.

“Hey, I know that it might be weird or something, but can I use your shower for a bit?” Tendou asked him once they finished eating. There was a faint blush on his cheeks due to embarrassment, though Ushijima failed to notice. “I mean you-you can say no. Maybe I’ll go to a—”

“Sure,” Ushijima said without hesitating, cutting Tendou’s words short. “I have 2-in-1 shampoos that you can use. Conditioners too.”

“Thanks a lot,” Tendou forced a smile.

“It’s no problem,” Ushijima shrugged. “I have some body wash I bought on sale too if you want to use them.”

“You like saving money, don’t you?” Tendou asked, while taking spare clothes and a towel from his luggage. Ushijima nodded while grabbing the plastic bag off the couch so he could throw it in the trash can in his apartment. “Why? You're famous, aren’t you getting paid enough from sponsorships or something?”

“I am getting paid enough, but I don’t want to splurge on unnecessary things.”

Tendou grinned. “Yeah, why buy two different shampoos when you can get it in one bottle, am I right?” 

“You are right.” Ushijima agreed. “It’s much more efficient that way.”

Tendou zipped his bag close and then followed Ushijima to his apartment. He thought he heard Ushijima greet his plant before entering the house but it must just be his imagination. After all, it was so damn hot outside and he lacks sleep. Maybe he’s just hearing things.

Ushijima’s apartment was quite humbling. It was a small and humble studio apartment. The floors are made out of wood and the walls are painted a light color. Something about Ushijima’s apartment brought Tendou a wave of overwhelming warmth, comfort, and familiarity. It was all too much, he felt himself on the verge of tears. His heart ached and Tendou found himself getting emotional.

“Are you okay?” Ushijima asked the red-haired boy when he noticed his expression. 

Ushijima never knew how to comfort someone so he didn’t know what to do at that moment. He just silently hoped that Tendou wouldn't bawl his eyes out here and there or else they’d be both crying.

“Sorry, there was a bug in my eye,” Tendou lied, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt.

“Oh, did you want me to kill it?” Ushijima’s response made Tendou chuckle. “I have those insect repellent somewhere—”

“It’s fine, geez,” Tendou brushed it off, a smile on his face to hide his feelings away. “Anyway, where’s the bathroom? It’s what I came here for after all.”

Ushijima pointed to the door adjacent to him. Tendou nodded before patting Ushijima’s shoulder as a sign of thanks. Tendou entered the bathroom before locking the door behind him. He hung his spare clothes and towel on the railing before stripping off his clothes and hopping into the shower. Tendou couldn’t help but to stare at his reflection.

His body wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t admirable, at least in his opinion. There were scars and scratches on his arms and sometimes knuckles from climbing walls and fences. Sometimes he would get them by tripping over nothing whenever his thoughts were clouded as he walked. There were bruises forming too though he wasn’t sure where he got them. He liked to think that they were his battle scars.

But they’re not.

He liked to think that he was a badass. He liked to think that he got them from running away from the police and the thugs, but that wasn’t always the case. He never got into a fight, in fact, he tried to avoid them at all costs. Who would want anything from a man who has nothing?

“Fuck, get out,” he whispered to himself as the warm running water hit his back. “Get these fucking thoughts out of my head, I don’t want it! I don’t want it!”

“Hey, are you okay?” Ushijima knocked on the door when he heard Tendou shouting. “You don’t want what? The shampoo?”

“No, it’s nothing, it’s fine,” Tendou forced a laugh. It sounded like he’s convincing himself rather than answering back to Ushijima.

Tendou stayed there under the shower for a good few minutes, trying to compose himself. He wasn’t going to cry, he hated crying. He hated it because no matter how many buckets of tears he cried, nothing good will ever happen. It will always be a cycle for Tendou. It was like a curse or something. He hated it but he knew there was nothing he could do. Crying only made him look more pathetic than he already is.

Tendou grabbed the shampoo bottle that Ushijima was talking about. It really was 2-in1. Shampoo and conditioner in one. He wondered that if he used it, would his hair be as soft as Ushijima’s? I mean, it’s not like he touched it or anything. It just looks so bouncy and soft. 

He poured a generous amount of shampoo in his hand before lathering it up in his hair. It smelled good. Like lavender or something. He washed his whole body and brushed his teeth. Even for a little moment, Tendou felt good about himself.

After Tendou finished showering, he went out of the bathroom fully clothed, his other clothes in on hand and a towel slung over his shoulder. He noticed that Ushijima was sitting on the couch, watching the TV intently. He only tore his eyes away from the flat screen when Tendou cleared his throat. Tendou’s hair was still damp from the shower. Ushijima thought that Tendou looked different with his hair down. Different in a good way, that is.

“You look mad,” Tendou pointed out and Ushijima shook his head.

“I was just focusing. The forecast said that it’s going to rain heavily later. Maybe a storm,” he explained, standing up and turning off the television. “Your stuff will get wet.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” was all Tendou could say. He watched as Ushijima went to the front door and wore his slides. “Where are you going?”

“I am going to get your stuff,” Ushijima answered as he opened the door. 

“Woah there buddy, you don’t have to do all that, I’ll be fine!” Tendou walked towards Ushijima with a flustered face. He felt embarrassed. He didn’t want to trouble Ushijima. He already troubled Ushijima by asking to use his bathroom.

“Are your bags waterproof?” Ushijima asked, still holding the doorknob. 

“Well… not exactly—”

“Then I will get it before it rains. We don’t want your stuff getting wet,” With that, Ushijima left the apartment, leaving a dumbfounded Tendou behind. 

Ushijima went to the rooftop and grabbed Tendou’s suitcase along with his duffel bag. The clouds are turning gray and the air is getting sticky. He removed the blanket on Tendou’s fort so it will not get wet. Sadly, Ushijima cannot do something about the couch nor the clothes line. When he returned back to his apartment, he saw Tendou outside his door, crouching down next to Berry the potted plant.

“Are you getting to know Berry?” Ushijima asked which brought confusion to Tendou. “My plant... It’s name is Berry.”

“Oh,” Tendou said, smiling. “Not really. You can just leave my stuff here in the hallway, I can—hey! Why are you taking it inside?”

But Ushijima didn’t speak. He hauled Tendou’s things inside his apartment, placing it beside the door. “You can stay here for a while, Tendou,” said Ushijima. “I don’t mind your company. In fact, I quite liked it.”

Tendou was stunned. He didn’t know what to say. Should he thank him? Should he tell him he was sorry? Maybe crack a joke like asking ‘Why are we going so fast?’, but Tendou froze on the spot.

“No, it’s fine really,” Tendou laughed his thoughts away, mustering a little bit of courage, “I don’t want to bother you or anything.”

“It’s not a bother,” Ushijima said bluntly. “Besides, you still have a story to tell don’t you?”

“Uhm, well,” Tendou thought of ways to avoid the topic. “It’s a long long long long story, buddy. I don’t want to bore you with my life or anything,” Tendou said, avoiding direct eye-contact with the bigger man. “Besides, it’s nothing exciting, and it isn’t something good either.”

“I have the time. I don’t mind listening for a long while.”

“Gee, you sure are persistent, aren’t you?” Tendou forced a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood—or rather, trying to divert his mood somewhere else. Besides, he didn’t want to bore the guy with his life. He didn’t want to share his burden with him. “It’s boring. You wouldn’t want to waste your time on me.” 

Ushijima paused, as if analyzing what the situation is. Ushijima wasn’t talkative, he and his teammates knew that. He’s a quiet person, even before when he was just a kid. Ushijima knew that he was also intimidating to other people. At first it concerned him, but he learned not to care later on in life. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Ushijima didn’t have huge friend groups. 

“It’s okay,” Ushijima said after a while. “I understand.”

He gave Tendou a tight-lipped smile before entering further in his house. Tendou was confused. It’s okay what? He understands what? But nonetheless, Tendou was thankful. He wasn’t expecting Ushijima to really come out of his way and be persistent about his story. Tendou thought that Ushijima was just like everybody else, the come-and-go type of people, but that clearly wasn’t the case.

Tendou placed his clothes inside his bag, separated from the clean ones, before sitting on Ushijima’s couch. It was soft, and more comfortable than the one on the rooftop. The throw pillows he used were soft too, plus, they smelled great. Was it lavender? daisies Tendou wasn’t sure. It smelled like flowers.

The layout of Ushijima’s apartment was interesting. He wasn’t used to studio apartments like this. There was a wood divider separating the living room from Ushijima’s bedroom—or rather, bed. His bed was snuggled up against the wall, it looked so warm and cozy. What brought a smile to Tendou’s lips was the 4 foot tall cow plushie that was tucked under the blanket as if it was resting.

“I brought snacks,” Ushijima placed the plate on the coffee table. It was filled with slices of apples and oranges. “They were on sale, but they’re still in great condition. Yummy too.”

“Sure they are,” Tendou smiled and grabbed a slice of apple and put it in his mouth. The juiciness and the sweet taste of the apple filled his mouth. Ushijima turned the television on again and browsed through the channels. Tendou smiled to himself when Ushijima stopped to look at the shopping channel. 

This guy really. 

Silence engulfed them. It was not an awkward silence, but a rather comfortable one. Surprising since they just met a few hours ago. Despite now knowing Tendou fully, he trusted the stranger. Tendou, though he was on edge earlier, thought the same. After all, they had been nothing but nice to each other these past few hours.

“You like cows?” Tendou asked, itching to know the story behind the four foot tall plushie on his bed. He also noticed a few small figurines of cows and other cow memorabilia lying in his apartment. They were cow keychains dangling from his keys and the cow mug hanging from the kitchen, to name a few.

“I think they’re adorable,” Ushijima answered, which made Tendou grin. Who would’ve thought that a big man like Ushijima is fond of cows? The thought was endearing. 

“Do you shout ‘cows!’ too whenever you pass by a field of cows while driving?”

“Sometimes,” Ushijima said, which made Tendou laugh. “I got the plushie from a game at a carnival,” Ushijima added.

“What kind of game?”

“The one were you hit the bell. I think it was called High striker, though I’m not sure,” Ushijima answered before taking a bite of his apple. The plate was empty now, Tendou ate most of the fruits.

“If I tried that game, my arms would break,” Tendou laughed, dusting indivisible dust off his hands. “I bet I wouldn’t be able to even lift the hammer.”

Tendou’s words were laced with insecurities. Ushijima took notice of that. “Maybe you can if you tried.”

Tendou could only smile bitterly, mostly to himself. “Maybe.” 

Except Tendou has been trying for long enough. People have this perception that if you tried enough, maybe tried harder than before, everything would work out, that everything would be fine. It’s not like that. Most of the time, it’s not like that. The world is unfair, it always was.

Soon, the rain came pouring hard. Thunder and lightning erupting in the sky as if the sky was hurt and angry. Tendou smiled to himself. The rain was just like him, angry and sad, except he couldn’t cry. Not in front of a stranger. He’ll look more pathetic than he is right now. So as the rain poured harder, the heavy feeling inside Tendou grew. The violent sound of the rain as it hit the windows of Ushijima’s apartment filled the room.

There were a lot of moments that Tendou would question himself. This was one of those moments. What is he even doing? Why does he still choose to find reasons to wake up every morning when mornings were just an indication that another day had passed and he’s still suffering? Why does he still smile and talk to people, acting as if his life was okay and isn’t falling apart? Why, instead of being drenched and shivering outside, he’s sitting on a sofa in the warmth of a stranger’s house, dry and well protected?

“Tendou,” Ushijima called from the kitchen. He was wearing an apron with a cow on it. Tendou forced a smile. “I asked you what you want to eat for dinner. Is there anything that you are craving?”

‘Maybe a peace of mind and a little sense of security. Maybe a bit of love and comfort’, is what Tendou wanted to say. Instead he said, “Anything will do. I’m not that picky.” 

Tendou thought that he didn't have the right to be picky. After all, Ushijima has been doing him a lot of favors now.

Ushijima nodded before opening up his pantry and looking at the various ingredients stocked. Tendou remained seated on the couch, brushing the negative thoughts away. He hoped that when the storm goes away and the sky will clear up, his dark and depressing thoughts will too.

“Wow, that looks tasty!” Tendou praised as he sat down on the dining table with Ushijima. His mouth watered at the sight of the warm porridge. “Thank you for the food!” He said before chomping down the meal.

Ushijima can cook, that’s for sure. It was still pouring hard outside but the porridge provided him a sense of comfort. After they finished eating, Tendou volunteered to wash the dishes. After all, Ushijima did make him a nice meal. It was the least he could do.

“Do you want to talk or do you want to watch a movie?” Ushijima asked, his arms in his pockets. Tendou grabbed a tissue from the countertop and wiped his hands dry before throwing the tissue in the trash can. 

“Talk about what, buddy?” Tendou asked, approaching the olive-haired guy.

“I thought that maybe you might want to talk, you seemed space out most of the time,” Ushijima shrugged. “Is there something troubling you?”

‘A lot of things,’ is what Tendou wanted to say. Instead he said, “Nothing bud, I’m just daydreaming.”

“Oh okay, then would you want to watch a movie with me?” 

“Sure, why not? We could kill some time,” Tendou said without hesitating. He found it hard to turn down Ushijima’s offer. 

He sat down on the other side of the couch while Ushijima picked a movie to watch. Anything’s fine with Tendou. As the TV screen flashes the logo of the movie, Tendou notices stacks of CDs in the TV console. “You’re into Greek mythology or something?”

“Oh, you noticed,” Ushijima said, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. Tendou fought the urge to pinch his cheeks. He was just so adorable! “Yes. Though I get teased by my teammates when they find out that I have a whole collection of them. They told me it was kind of weird. Is it weird?”

“Not at all,” Tendou shook his head with a smile on his face. “And if it was, isn’t being weird more fun than being the same as others? It’s kinda nice to stand out a little bit.”

“I suppose so,” Ushijima agreed.

“Though, isn’t just Zeus a big horny lightning guy?”

Ushijima laughed upon hearing Tendou’s question. “Well… maybe?”

Tendou wasn’t familiar with the movie that they were watching but he enjoyed it, and he enjoyed Ushijima’s company. It’s been ages since Tendou sat down in a living room and enjoyed a movie with a friend, not that Ushijima is his friend or something. Well at least not yet. Tendou thought that maybe a guy like him would be hard to get to know over a short period of time, but he also catered the possibility that he might be wrong. After all, he knew better than to judge someone by their appearance.

“You know, it got me thinking,” Ushijima said, causing Tendou to avert his attention from the TV. “In Greek mythology, the Titan Atlas was responsible for bearing the weight of the sky—the heavens on his shoulder. It was a burden given to him as punishment by Zeus—the big horny lightning guy.”

Tendou didn’t know what Ushijima was talking about but he listened as he talked. Maybe he was theorising something about the movie, who knows? He leaned on the chair as Ushijima rambled. Which, even for Tendou, was a rare sight.

“Isn’t it the same for people too?” Ushijima looked at Tendou. Tendou, in return, raised his eyebrow at him, urging for him to continue. “People who have very hard problems tend to feel like they’re carrying the weight not only of the sky, but of the whole world on their shoulders. And I know it must be very hard for them, people only have two hands after all.”

Tendou pursed his lips as he looked away. Something about Ushijima’s words stung. Like it was meant for him. “That-That’s great analysis you got there, buddy,” Tendou said, letting out an awkward laugh. “Maybe that’s where that allusion came from.”

Ushijima's gaze didn’t falter. 

“What I’m saying is, I have two hands, Tendou. You can share your burden with me,” Ushijima’s words surprised the red-haired man. He looked at him with wide eyes. “I know we are not close friends, but we are not strangers either. Maybe you can share a part of the sky and the world to me. Maybe it will make you feel better.”

Tendou didn’t speak. He was stunned. Ushijima was the first one to reach out to him after months and months of wandering the streets alone. Neither Tendou’s family nor his friends didn’t reach him, but Ushijima, a total stranger, had the nerve to reach out to Tendou and make him feel like there’s someone there for him. Tendou couldn’t handle the emotions overwhelming him, he broke down in tears.

Ushijima pursed his lips, maybe it was wrong for him to do that. It was clear that Tendou didn’t want to talk about his life or what happened to him. Ushijima felt guilty. With hesitant hands, he moved closer to Tendou and awkwardly rubbed his back. Ushijima didn’t know if it would make Tendou feel better, he just saw it on TVs and in his teammates so thought it would help.

“Sorry,” Ushijima whispered. Tendou continued to sob.

Along with the heavy rain and violent winds, Tendou’s tears poured. He was so overwhelmed, he didn’t know what to do. He tried to stop his crying but his tears would just continue to flow either way. Ushijima’s warm hand rubbing his back helped calm his nerves even just for a bit. 

“I’ll get you something to drink,” Ushijima stood up. Tendou immediately felt cold when he wasn’t around.

When Ushijima came back from the kitchen to get Tendou a glass of water, Tendou’s head was still buried in his hands though he stopped crying.

Ushijima sat down on the couch, a bit closer to Tendou but still maintaining a respectful distance. He also brought tissues for him. After a while, Tendou sat up, his eyes bloodshot, his nose all red. The sight broke Ushijima. He wondered what Tendou did to the world for him to go through whatever he’s going through right now. He would look at Tendou and he would see nothing but a man so strong. He badly wanted to comfort him, but Ushijima didn’t know how.

“Fuck, sorry. I’m a wreck,” Tendou said, grabbing the glass of water and chugging it down. “Look at me crying over what you said. Fucking hell.”

“I think we’re all wrecks. Some of us were just bigger of a wreck than others,” Ushijima answered which made Tendou chuckle. “What are you feeling now?”

“You kind of overwhelmed me a bit there buddy,” Tendou laughed, trying to lighten the mood. His voice sounded a bit stuffed. He grabbed a tissue from the dispenser and wiped his tears. “Can you give me a moment? I have to collect my thoughts and all that shit.”

Ushijima agreed without hesitating. He grabbed the now empty glass of water before washing it on the sink. “I’ll be in the hallway if you need me. Take your time,” Ushijima said to the red-haired guy before leaving his apartment and closing the door behind him.

When Ushijima left the apartment, Tendou broke down crying again. He was so thankful and so sorry at the same time. He was thankful that somebody reached out, finally, and sorry because Tendou felt like a shitty person, bringing a problem to their life.

Ushijima was patient. He stayed there for minutes and minutes until Tendou was ready. Ushijima sat cross-legged beside Berry. “Do you think he’s going to be okay?” He asked the plant and of course, the plant didn’t respond. “I think Tendou is a strong guy. I think he’ll be okay. Maybe not now, but hopefully soon.”

So he waited. 

And then the door opened. Ushijima stood up, looking at Tendou. He looked like he cried again. Ushijima never wanted to comfort someone so bad in his entire life. Tendou was the first one to make him feel like this. Ushijima was not the first one to bring friends food either, but there he was, bringing Tendou burgers and cooking him some porridge, even offering him a place to stay for the night.

“You can come in now. I’m sorry,” Tendou apologized.

“There’s no need to be sorry about,” Ushijima said as he entered his house and closed his door behind him. Then he grabbed the blanket from his bed and offered it to Tendou who took it without hesitating. Tendou wrapped himself with Ushijima’s blanket. It was warm and soft, it felt like a hug.

“Do you need a hug? Is the blanket warm enough?” Ushijima asked as he sat down beside Tendou. Tendou could only chuckle. 

“You okay about giving a man a hug?” 

“Why not?” Ushijima asked, scooting closer to Tendou. “A hug is a hug, isn’t it?”

Tendou responded by scooting towards Ushijima, trusting the guy. Ushijima understood that Tendou was in a very vulnerable state and he didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. The bigger guy wrapped his arms around Tendou as Tendou placed his head on his chest. Ushijima leaned back on the couch as he brushed Tendou’s hair gently. Tendou let out a sigh of content as Ushijima comforted him. He could feel Ushijima’s heart beating, his scent was warm and comforting—like hot chocolates by the fireplace on a cold Christmas night. Tendou’s eyelids suddenly felt heavy.

“Why are you doing this?” Tendou asked Ushijima after a while of silence, his voice soft. The storm calmed down for a bit, as if nature was cooperating with what Tendou is feeling. Ushijima’s hug kept him warm despite the room being cold due to the rain. 

“Doing what?” Tendou could feel the vibration of Ushijima’s voice when he spoke.

“This,” Tendou waved his hand around him and Ushijima. “I’m a stranger. I could be a serial killer waiting to pounce on you when I had the perfect opportunity. Maybe even steal all of your cow memorabilia or something.”

“Except you’re not,” Ushijima placed his hand on Tendou’s lower back. Tendou chuckled.

“How can you be so sure?” Tendou whispered. “I’m a total stranger.”

Ushijima shrugged, resting his head on top of Tendou’s. He could smell the 2-in-1 shampoo that Tendou used. It smelled nice. Ushijima hated baseless confidence, that’s for sure. Tendou could be a serial killer, but Ushijima just doesn’t see him as that kind of person. Ushijima never liked it whenever people used looks as a basis of someone’s identity. Even for a short period of time, Ushijima could tell that Tendou was far more than what other people perceived him to be.

Time passed and none of them spoke a word. Ushijima could feel Tendou’s steady and slow breathing, indicating that he’s fast asleep. Ushijima’s arms felt numb but he didn’t move an inch, not wanting to wake up his tired friend. Ushijima brushed Tendou’s hair away from his face, looking at the sleepy boy’s features. Tendou looked calm and gentle when he’s sleeping. Tendou had this faint smile on his lips, as if he was dreaming happily. 

Ushijima briefly looked at his bed before returning his attention back to Tendou. He thought that maybe the comfort of his bed would help Tendou. After all, he did sleep on that old and stiff couch on the rooftop. Just thinking about it made Ushijima feel terrible. Without hesitating, he carried Tendou to his bed before tucking him to sleep. Ushijima smiled when Tendou unconsciously snuggled up with Ushijima’s cow plushie.

“Cute,” he muttered before moving away from the bed and massaging his numb arm. 

He supposed that he could sleep on the couch for the meantime, it was a pull-out so it was fine. He didn’t want to possibly crush Tendou whenever he tossed and turned in his sleep. He removed the throw pillows and placed them on the floor so he could fix the couch to his liking. After he was done, he grabbed a spare blanket from his cabinet to provide warmth for the night. Ushijima looked at Tendou’s sleeping body, the faint glow of the night sky basking his face with gentle light and shadows. Ushijima almost thought that his breath was being taken away. 

“Good night, Tendou. Wake up happy,” he whispered before turning on his side and letting Hypnos cradle him to sleep. 

The following morning, Tendou woke up confused. First of all, why was he suddenly in Ushijima’s bed, and second, why is he hugging Ushijima’s four-foot-tall cow plushie? He chose not to complain though since it was very soft—Ushijima’s bed too.

Speaking of Ushijima, Tendou didn’t find any trace of the athlete. The room was quiet, only the faint sounds of the cars passing by and the chirps of the birds can be heard. He stretched before standing up and fixing the bed. The sky was clearer than it was yesterday, much brighter too. Tendou tried to tame his bedhead with his hands but to no avail. There he saw something on top of the countertop. He walked towards it and read the note attached to the bag of food. He could smell waffles and some fruits, his mouth immediately watered.

“You were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up. I have volleyball practice so I decided to order you some food. I didn’t know what you like so I just got waffles,” Tendou read, mimicking Ushijima’s deep voice. “And a smiley face too! Damn, this guy really!” He let out a laugh. 

He grabbed the stool and sat down on it, removing the food container from the bag. He opened it up and there it was, the waffles and some fruits. He wasted no time eating the food. Though he wasn’t that much of a big eater, he appreciated Ushijima’s kindness.

While Tendou was at home, Ushijima was spending his time in the gym, practicing volleyball as usual. There was a big game he had to prepare for and he couldn’t afford to get side tracked. He spiked the ball with so much force, his teammate rolled back when it made contact with their hand.

"Geez man! You're like a tank or something!" His teammate as he stood up, grinning at Ushijima. “It sent me flying!”

"Thanks," Ushijima nodded, grabbing another ball. “You’re… okay.”

“Hey, don’t rub it in! I’m trying you know,” The guy laughed, used to Ushijima’s bluntness.

He spent more than half a day training. He would have trained some more but their coach told them to go home and get some rest. Ushijima, being the obedient athlete that he is, couldn't help but to follow their order.

"Wakatoshi-kun!" He heard a familiar voice called out to him. Ushijima turned and saw Tendou waving his arms like a lunatic which made Ushijima smile.

"Holy heck, did Ushijima just smile?" His teammate asked. 

"That's a first," the other replied. “You don’t get to see that everyday.”

Ushijima just nodded at them before retrieving his bag and wiping his sweat with his towel. "I will be going now," he said before jogging towards Tendou.

"I'll change my shirt first," Ushijima said and Tendou just nodded. Ushijima didn't smell bad, his masculine scent made him smell fresh even though he spent hours training.

"I'll watch your bag for you," Tendou suggested. "I won't do any funny business or anything if that's what you're worried about."

"There's nothing I'm worried about," Ushijima faintly smiled before giving his bag to Tendou. It wasn't that heavy, but it wasn't particularly light either. 

Tendou thought that Ushijima would go to the restroom and maybe change there, but clearly he thought wrong. Ushijima took off his shirt then and there, Tendou had to look away. His cheeks were burning up, Ushijima had to ask if he was feeling fine. He didn't understand, he already saw Ushijima shirtless before—on their first encounter. Why was he feeling this way? Why now?

"No, yeah," Tendou said which left Ushijima confused. Was it yes or no? Nonetheless, Ushijima wiped his sweat off with his towel before throwing a new shirt on. He retrieved his bag from Tendou before placing his other shirt inside. 

“How did you know I was here?” Ushijima asked as they walked together.

“Oh you know, I just happened to pass by and saw these mobs of fans with the Ushijima Wakatoshi merchandise. I should really get some of those myself! Oh, to walk around the city with the one and only, Ushijima Wakatoshi’s face on my t-shirt like those gals and guys out there,” Tendou said in a teasing tone and gestured to the girls behind the railings waving their posters around for Ushijima to see. Ushijima looked at their direction, causing the fanbase to squeal. 

“And how did you get in?”

“I have my ways,” Tendou grinned. “And trust me, you don’t want to know about them if you don’t want to get in trouble.”

As they passed the mobs of fans, Tendou heard choruses of ‘USHIJIMA-SAN!’, ‘LOOK AT ME!’, ‘OH MY GOD!’, and other more things. Ushijima acknowledged their presence by waving at them in return. So this is what being famous is like? He couldn’t help but to dwell on his past. He played volleyball too when he was a lot younger until he was in high school. He can’t help but to think that if he didn’t let go of that part of his life, if he continued to pursue that career, would he be just like Ushijima? 

He shook his head. The thought was silly, he can’t help but to laugh.

“Won’t they follow us?” Tendou asked when he looked back at Ushijima’s fans. They were snapping pictures from far away and talking among themselves.

“No, they usually respect my privacy,” Ushijima answered, nodding at someone who called his name across the road. “Would you like to eat out? It’s lunch time.”

“That’s why I’m here!” Tendou sling his arm around Ushijima’s shoulders, causing him to duck down a bit. “You have been doing an awful lot for me for the past… what was it, 24 hours or so? I don’t know, I haven’t looked at a clock since ages. Anyway, let me return the favor! Let me treat you somewhere yummy!”

“You don’t have to do that, I’m only doing what I can,” Ushijima said, placing a hand on Tendou’s back to support himself. Tendou stiffened upon the contact but chose not to say anything. He was sure that Ushijima was never the type of person to take advantage of someone—in any way, shape, or form. 

Ushijima and Tendou stopped in front of a small restaurant. Upon entering, Tendou was greeted by an old lady. She was short and stout, a kind smile was plastered on her face.

“Satori! I haven’t seen you in a while!” She said, pinching Tendou’s cheeks. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too, granny,” Tendou smiled, giving the old lady a hug. 

The lady wasn’t really Tendou’s grandmother, she was just someone who liked having Tendou around. She was the one who provided food and shelter for the poor boy when she saw him wandering the streets in the asscrack of dawn. 

“Oh? And who’s this lovely man with you, Satori?” The old lady smiled at Ushijima before turning her attention to her favorite boy. 

“He’s Ushijima Wakatoshi, my uh… friend I guess?” Tendou turned to look at Ushijima as if he’s asking for approval of any sort. Ushijima nodded in response. “We’d like a table please.”

“Of course! Of course!” The old lady smiled and ushered them to an empty table near the window. “It's so nice to finally see you, Satori. I was wondering if you were doing okay. You had me worried!”

“Well, I’m here now so there’s nothing you should worry about,” Tendou grinned boyishly and the old lady just chuckled. Delighted that his favorite boy was able to visit him.

The place was small but it was so cozy that they didn’t mind. There was a radio playing some old songs, the people were happily eating while they chatted with each other. The workers were nice and greeted the customers warmly. The ambiance of the place seemed like home. Ushijima let out a breath of content.

“What would you want to get?” The old lady asked Tendou.

“I don’t know, surprise me!” Tendou grinned to which the old lady chuckled at. He turned to Ushijima who said the same thing. Ushijima hasn’t been here for long but he could tell that the old lady was fond of Tendou—it was so evident. Questions swam in his head.

“Alright, you kids get comfortable and I’ll return with your food. Satori, you better finish your food, alright?”

“Alright,” Tendou hummed in response “Don’t pick the most expensive thing on the menu though!” 

“Oh you, don’t worry, it’s on the house,” she smiled warmly as she went to the back to prepare their food. 

“You seem close with granny,” Ushijima pointed out and Tendou nodded, mindlessly picking his nails. He stopped when he realized what he was doing.

“Yeah, she helped me a bit with shelter and food,” Tendou smiled, leaning back on the chair, his hands placed loosely behind his head. “She’s very nice. Just like a second mother to me.”

Ushijima could see that, but he couldn’t help but ask. “Then why did you leave?”

Tendou paused for a moment before answering. He sighed before answering. “Because I didn’t want to burden her too much with my presence. I don’t have anything to give back to her, you know?”

“I’m sure she doesn’t mind. It did seem like she liked having you around,” Ushijima pointed out. “Besides, she said she misses you, right?”

“Yeah but,” Tendou’s voice trailed off. He shook his head, hinting to Ushijima to just drop the topic. He didn’t want to be sad now. It was a good thing that the food arrived, putting a stop to their conversation. The savory and delicious smell of the food filled their nostrils.

“Eat up,” The lady said, patting Tendou’s head.

Ushijima noticed Tendou’s expression changed. It’s like being here, being with the granny, was very comforting for him. ‘She’s very nice. Just like a second mother to me,’ Tendou’s words occupied his mind. He couldn’t understand why Tendou felt like a burden.

“Thank you for the food!” They both said before engulfing the food down.

“Man, I’m stuffed!” Tendou said once they got out of the restaurant. The sun was shining but the air was still cold. “I feel like my stomach is about to explode.”

“You only ate half of your portion though,” Ushijima pointed out, now walking back to his apartment. “I had to eat the other half or else granny will feel bad.”

“Yeah well, I can’t eat that much you know? I don’t have that big of an appetite anyway,” Tendou scrunched his face which brought a smile to Ushijima’s face. Tendou noticed that Ushijima has been smiling more recently. 

When they arrived at Ushijima’s apartment building, they stopped by the front door. Tendou was confused as to why Ushijima just suddenly stopped walking. He peeked around his shoulder and chuckled when he saw why. Ushijima was reading the posters and ads plastered by the door. 

“There’s a festival later, do you want to come?” Ushijima asked him. 

Tendou was surprised. He didn’t plan on spending more time at Ushijima’s apartment. In fact, he planned on leaving today, just before sundown. Of course he hasn't told Ushijima that yet. The lunch was supposed to be a parting gift, but they only ate and talked about the most random things.

“Don’t you have to rest?” Tendou asked, putting his hands in his pockets as they entered the building. Ushijima shook his head before pushing the button for the elevator. 

“I don’t have to train tomorrow,” he answered. “I can rest then.”

“Gee, I don’t know buddy. I kind of have to do something later.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Ushijima said as they entered the elevator. He pressed the number for his floor and Tendou stood beside him. “I heard that my friend was going to play so I decided to come.”

“Who?” Tendou asked out of curiosity. The door of the elevators opened and two young couples stepped inside. Tendou moved towards Ushijima instinctively. 

“Semi Eita. He’s in a band.”

“Dude! No way!” Tendou exclaimed, causing Ushijima to turn and look at him. The couples did too though they minded their own business when they briefly glanced at Ushijima. 

“What?”

“Semi Eita is famous! Man, how many famous people will I bump into this month?” Tendou grinned as he placed his hands on his hips. 

“Semi Eita is not that famous… at least not yet. If he works hard though, I think it will be possible.”

“Still! A lot of people know him!” 

The elevator doors opened and they stepped outside. Ushijima greeted his potted plant as usual before putting the key in the doorknob and pushing open the door. Tendou found the sight funny but greeted Berry nonetheless. They took their shoes off by the door. 

“So, are you coming to the festival with me?” Ushijima asked, leaning on the wall as he looked at Tendou. “We can meet Semi.”

“Man, you knew this would happen didn’t you? That’s why you told me his name!” Tendou teased, a sly smile on his face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” it was true though, Ushijima doesn’t know what Tendou is talking about. He just felt the need to say his friend’s name during that conversation. “Are you coming though?”

Tendou chuckled, nodding. “Fine, fine,” he agreed. “Let me use your washing machine, I need to wash my clothes.”

“Woah,” Tendou thought to himself as he stared at the colorful lights and banners around him. It’s been a long time since he’d been to a festival. None of his ‘friends’ invited him and he just didn’t feel like being in a place so happy, when he clearly isn’t. This time though, it feels different. Like he needed to go. Like he needed to experience it.

It’s unexpected that he and Ushijima were wearing the same color of clothes. Ushijima was wearing a maroon t-shirt—which was too fit for him in Tendou’s opinion but hey, he looked good wearing it and he’s not going to lie about that—paired with loose gray sweatpants. Tendou on the other hand was wearing a maroon crewneck and some jeans. 

“Aren’t you going to be cold wearing just that, buddy? I mean, don’t get me wrong, you look fine as hell but you sure are gonna freeze your tits off if you don’t wear a jacket,” Tendou said as he looked Ushijima up and down. Despite the nice weather that morning, Tendou knew that it would be cold during the night. After all, he spent a lot of nights wandering for some place to stay at for the night. 

Ushijima could only laugh as he grabbed a random jacket from his cabinet. “I was going to,” the bigger guy answered.

They decided to just walk instead of riding a bus to the festival. It was near the apartment so it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Tendou saw some couples holding hands as they walked, whispering sweet nothings to each other. He scoffed at the sight. He wasn’t bitter about it, no, not really. It’s just that, some people really are capable of falling in love huh?

Tendou wondered what it felt like. What it feels like to fall in love. Was it as romantic as the movies? Was it as beautiful as the books described? Will it make his heart swoon? Will it make his heart beat fast and loud as he stared at their face, thinking to himself how damn lucky he was to fall in love? There were a lot of unanswered questions swimming in his mind at that moment. He forced himself just to let it go.

After all, he did fall for someone. He did fall in love. But sadly, the feelings weren’t mutual. He can still recall their voice saying those harsh words, cutting deep into his heart, tearing it apart. 

‘You’re kind of scary Tendou. You scare me just a tad bit. Sorry, I just don’t feel the same way. Maybe try someone else? I already have my eyes set on someone. Sorry, really.’

And he did try, but the results were always the same. ‘You’re scary.’, ‘Sorry, I don’t feel the same way’. For Tendou, it was so damn tiring to chase someone and offer all of his heart only for it to be disregarded in the end. Tendou then set his mind that maybe, falling in love was just not for him.

“Tendou,” Tendou stopped walking upon Ushijima’s call. “This is the entrance.”

Tendou could just grin before walking back. “Sorry, I was just in my head. I didn’t mean to leave you behind.”

Ushijima just nodded as Tendou walked up to him. He noticed Tendou sigh before asking something. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No," Ushijima shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. It was cold, he wondered if Tendou was feeling it too. "Why?"

"Nothing, just asking," Tendou shrugged. "Why not though? You're handsome and all, athletic too. I'm sure you could pull all the girls that you want."

"I simply do not have the time to engage in relationships."

Tendou just nodded.

“Why? Is something bothering you?” Ushijima asked and Tendou just shook his head. “You can tell me you know.”

“Maybe not yet, Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou smiled, placing his hands in his pockets. “Say, how about we just enjoy our time here, alright? Let’s forget all of the bullshit the world gave us, even just for a while. Hmm? Waddaya say?”

Ushijima cracked a smile before nodding. “Yeah, sure.”

“Damn, I can’t see,” Tendou squinted his eyes as if it was going to help him see Semi Eita better. "I'm tall but what the hell?"

They were farther from the stage but Semi's stage presence and energy radiated like crazy. The crowd was huge. Maybe Ushijima was wrong about Semi Eita being not that famous. There were lots of people here. 

“Climb on my back,” Ushijima said which just caused confusion for Tendou. He didn't hear a word Ushijima just said.

The beat of the music was blasting off the speakers, the bass sending vibrations to their chests. The atmosphere was full of excitement, people were jumping around and singing at the top of their lungs. Some were making out and some were just happy to be there, munching on their snacks as they swayed to the rhythm of the music.

Clearly, everyone was having the time of their lives.

“Climb on my back so you could see better,” Ushijima repeated, moving closer to Tendou so he could hear better.

"Nah, I'm good," Tendou answered but Ushijima responded by walking in front of him and slightly crouching down. "I guess you're not taking no for an answer huh?"

"I'm not going to drop you if that's what you're worried about." 

"Don't worry, I'm not worried about that," Tendou chuckled as he hopped on Ushijima's back. Tendou could feel Ushijima's muscles tensed up and then relax as he stood up. 

"You like it?"

"I'm sorry what?" Tendou asked, baffled. 

"You like the view? Can you see better?" Ushijima slightly turned his head to look at Tendou. Thanks to the dim lights around them, Ushijima can't see how flushed red Tendou's cheeks were. 

"Yeah, good," Tendou chuckled nervously before turning his attention on the stage. 

He couldn't understand why he suddenly felt flustered with Ushijima around. He wasn't like this before. He shook his head trying to get rid of his thoughts. He doesn't want to dwell on them yet. He doesn't want to think of anything other than this moment. 

"Are you even trying to have fun, Wakatoshi-kun?" Tendou laughed when he noticed how Ushijima didn't bother to move a single inch since Tendou hopped on his back. "Loosen up, will you?"

"I don't want to accidentally drop you," was Ushijima's answer.

"Put me down then," and Ushijima did. He crouched down so Tendou could get off. Tendou patted Ushijima's shoulder before grinning. "You're free now. Go dance! Loosen up!"

"No, I'm fine." 

"Dude," Tendou places his hands on his hips, looking at Ushijima with an amused expression. "Just go dance. Like this," then Tendou showed some moves, earning a smile from the athlete. "See! It's easy!"

"I can't dance," Ushijima said, looking away from Tendou due to shyness. Tendou chuckled in return, finding Ushijima's reactions adorable.

"Sure you can! Just sway those hips of yours like this! Or like this! Or this!" 

"You don't understand, I don't know how."

"Wait, you're serious?" 

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

Tendou cracked a smile. "Damn, okay. How do we do this then? Hmmm, Tendou scratched his elbow as he thought of a way to make Ushijima dance. 

"Take my hand," Tendou offered his hand to the athlete. 

Ushijima looked at it momentarily before turning his attention back to Tendou's face. There was a shy smile on his face, his eyes looked like they were hoping for something, the lights creating beautiful shadows on his face. Ushijima felt breathless.

"Look, I'm not asking you to marry me or something," Tendou joked though both of their hearts skipped a beat upon hearing that. "Just dance with me."

"Will this make you happy?" Ushijima's question surprised Tendou. 

"Maybe it will," Tendou said, his voice almost a whisper. 

Tendou was about to drop his hand when Ushijima caught it. Surprised, Tendou looked at Ushijima. His face was kind of red, though Tendou thought it was because of the LED lights around them.

"Alright then, show me." 

And he did. Although Ushijima was rather clumsy and awkward with his dance moves, Tendou liked it. They laughed and had fun through the night, drowning their ears with music, filling their hearts and eyes with memories. Tendou was sure that this moment right here would be tattooed at the back of his eyelids. He was sure that this moment would be something he would treasure the most.

He was sure that he would always be thankful for Ushijima.

As the performance was coming to an end, various colors from the fireworks surrounded the sky. Everyone cheered and whipped their phones out in amusement. Both of the male looked up, looking at the sky lighting up.

“Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou called, causing Ushijima to avert his attention from the fireworks. “What would you do if I kissed you right now? Wouldn’t it be romantic?”

“Why? Do you have any feelings for me?” Ushijima raised his eyebrow at the red-haired boy who was smirking in response. He wasn’t really looking at Ushijima. He was looking up. Tendou was kind of afraid that if he looked at Ushijima in the eye, he’d be a stuttering mess.

“Why? Do you?” Tendou teased. Ushijima only smiled before shrugging. 

“Ask me after we win our match. I’ll have an answer then.”

Tendou was surprised by Ushijima’s boldness. He wasn’t expecting Ushijima to go along with his question. He chuckled as he shifted his weight from his foot to his other foot. His heart was pounding like crazy. Thank goodness the sound of the fireworks and the band were loud.

“After the performance finishes, would you like to meet Semi?”

Tendou smiled, finally looking at Ushijima. He swore for a moment, his heart stopped beating. “Yeah, sure.”

"You're here!" Semi greeted Ushijima. He had just finished his little concert. His hair was a mess, he was breathing heavily, the electric guitar was still in his hands, but it was no denying that he had the biggest smile on his face. "I would hug you but I'm sweaty as hell."

"It's fine. Congrats by the way," Ushijima said, making Semi's smile bigger. “I never knew you were this famous.”

“Aw shucks, no I’m not,” Semi smiled. Semi's bandmates patted him on the back before walking away. Semi then looked at the man beside Ushijima who he had just noticed.

"Oh? Hello! I'm Semi Eita!" He introduced himself. 

"I know dude. I'm kind of a fan," Tendou nodded. "You were crazy out there! Tendou Satori by the way."

"Thanks, Tendou! I poured my heart and soul out there. I think I’m going to pass out," Semi shook hands with Tendou who was grinning from ear to ear. "How did you get to know each other?"

Ushijima was about to answer, but Tendou spoke first. "Oh you know. Just like how other people meet. It was just random timing really.”

“That’s good. I like seeing Ushijima talk to other people. He usually doesn’t. Me and his teammates from before were worried that he’ll grow up by himself, not having much company. Thank goodness you found him.”

“I’m right here, you know,” Ushijima pointed out which made the two laugh. “Stop talking about me as if I wasn’t here.”

"I know buddy, just teasing you,” Semi added, winking. “Ushijima and I have been friends since we were in high school. Though I wasn't really sure since we didn't make it official."

"You are my friend, Semi," Ushijima implied.

"Gee, that just made my heart skip a bit," Semi joked, making Tendou laugh. "Doesn't your heart go doki-doki when you talk to him?"

"Sure does," Tendou chuckled. Ushijima raised his eyebrows upon hearing Tendou's answer.

"Shirabu didn't come by the way. He said he was studying," Ushijima said, changing the topic. The question Tendou asked underneath the fireworks crossed his mind, he had to look down due to embarrassment.

"Yeah, I saw it in the group chat. Man, med school must be tough huh? The others were here, though I wasn't sure where they were. Maybe they're getting drinks or something," Semi said, wiping his sweat away with the towel his manager gave him. "Anyway, I have to go. Don't hesitate to give me a call when you want to hang out! Give Tendou my cell phone number, okay?”

"Man, he's cool," Tendou hummed as Semi walked away. Ushijima nodded, agreeing. “Was he like that when you’re both in high school?”

“Not a single bit,” Ushijima responded bluntly which made Tendou burst into laughter. Other people even looked in their direction, surprised by the sudden noise, before going back to whatever they are doing. Ushijima looked at the sight before him, it wasn’t even that funny, but he was glad he made Tendou laugh.

Goodness, how he loved it whenever Tendou would place a hand over his stomach when laughing, small wrinkles forming around his eyes as he squinted. Tendou’s laugh floated around the air like a melody, filling Ushijima’s heart with something he couldn’t quite comprehend. 

"Do you want to eat?" Ushijima asked, his heart was beating like crazy but he wasn’t quite sure why. 

Tendou nodded, wiping his tears away. The aroma from each food stall was inviting. Tendou can't help but to gape at the food. He wasn’t a big eater, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like and appreciate food. He does, just in small quantities. 

Ushijima takes his wallet from his pocket before turning to face Tendou. "I'll get us some food. You can stay here if you want."

"Yeah, I'll find us a bench to sit on. If you ever lost me, just look around for a lanky boy with red spikey hair. ‘Cos, that’s most probably me.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Ushijima went to the stall to buy some food. He made a mental note not to buy too much because Tendou might not be able to finish them all. Tendou on the other hand, found an empty table nearby. It was underneath a tree. He sat down and looked at the view before him. The place was kind of high up, overlooking the city. Tendou can't help but to sigh. The city lights were so beautiful, though it’s such a shame that he couldn’t see the stars floating around the night sky due to the brightness and liveliness of the city.

He stretched out his right hand far into the air, attempting to at least touch the space that is beyond him. He often wondered, if he reached high enough, would he eventually touch the sky? Would he be able to touch the stars? Would he be able to run his hand through the clouds; feel the breeze from that high above?

He could only sigh. There was no answer because he didn’t think that it would be possible. At least for him.

His sightseeing was interrupted by someone tugging on the sleeves of his shirt. He turned around and saw a little kid, maybe in preschool. It looked like they were crying, their eyes were red and puffy, as well as their cheeks. There were snot running down their noses. Tendou scrunched his face in disgust.

"Boo!" he tried to scare the child but it didn't work.

"Papa?" The child asked and Tendou bit back a laugh. He looked at the child, amused. Not one bit of his features was similar to Tendou.

"I'm not your father, kid," Tendou said, which made the kid cry more. "God damn, why are you crying? I didn't do anything!"

"I only got a few," Ushijima then returned, placing the snacks on the table. He also got some drinks for the both of them. It was only when he turned to Tendou that he noticed the kid. "What is that?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’s that?’” Tendou chuckled before grabbing a tissue from the tray and wiping the kid’s nose with it. “It’s a child.”

“Yours?”

“No!”

“Why is it crying?”

"I don't know! Wait, did you just call a child an ‘it’? Ah, nevermind!—I was minding my own business and then this kid just walked up to me and called me his papa. I’m not a father yet, by the way!" Tendou explained. Then he turned to the child. "Did you lose your parents? Where did you last see them?”

The child didn't answer and only cried harder. Tendou sighed as he stood up and carried the child, patting their back as he swayed back and forth. "Damn, how do you make a child stop crying? Am I doing it right?" Tendou asked Ushijima who just shrugged in response. Ushijima didn’t know a single thing about child care so he felt like he didn’t have a say in this situation.

"Kairi? Kairi where are you? Kairi!"

Ushijima turned and saw a couple looking for someone. They looked the same age as him, if not just a tad bit older. Ushijima then gently poked Tendou to get his attention. 

"I think they're looking for the kid," Tendou turned to the direction Ushijima is looking at. "I'll go make sure they're the parents first. We don’t want them taking something that isn’t theirs.”

Tendou just nodded as he continued rocking back and forth. To be honest, this is kind of tiring him out, and he’s only been doing this for a shirt while! He wondered how mothers could do this at any time of the day. 

When Ushijima returned, the parents were with him. "Hey buddy, your parents are here," Tendou said, patting the child on the back. The child then turned to his parents, his eyes still in tears, his cheeks red from crying. 

The child wanted to get down so Tendou crouched down before setting the child down. The child wasted no time running into his parents arms, hugging them. 

"Thank you so much! Sorry for causing you trouble!" The mother bowed before picking up her baby. 

“No problem, make sure you don’t lose them next time,” Tendou said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“We will, we’re so sorry!” They bowed again before turning to leave. The small family then walked away, the child looked back at Tendou before waving his hand. Tendou wasn’t fond of kids, but he let this time pass. He waved back as the family disappeared into the crowd.

The sight of the family hurt Tendou. Was his parents like that to him before? Were they as loving? Did they become worried? It worried him that he couldn’t remember that much about his childhood other than bad memories of it. Tendou had to control his breathing in order to not cry. He was supposed to be happy tonight. He was supposed to be letting go of all of his problems for just one night. He made a deal, he shouldn’t be feeling this way.

Clearly the universe didn't want that. Clearly the universe was having fun teasing him and shit, torturing him with the smallest incidents, rubbing salt on his already deep wounds, uncovering and retrieving memories from his past that he didn’t even want to remember.

Why can't he just go for one day without being problem-free? Why can't the world just give him one day to be happy? 

What did he do in his past life that made the world treat him like this?

Ushijima noticed the shift in Tendou's moods. He was no longer smiling, he was no longer full of energy. It was as if all of it was drained in a mere second. A light bulb turned off. His eyes hold nothing but pain, sadness, and maybe an ounce of regret. Ushijima couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand seeing Tendou like this. 

So he took a step… and hugged him. 

Tendou was brought out of his trance. He was so surprised by Ushijima's hug he almost stumbled back. Luckily, Ushijima didn’t lose his balance.

"Hey buddy, you feeling alright?" Tendou asked. He felt like a hypocrite asking him such a question. The one he should be asking that is himself. Is he alright? Is he feeling alright?

"I'm here Tendou," Ushijima whispered. "I'm right here."

Tendou's breath hitched, he felt like crying again. He pursed his lips and thought of other things. He didn't want to look like a wimp. He already cried in front of Ushijima before. Besides, he should be happy tonight. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" Tendou asked, wrapping his arm around Ushijima. It was as if their body molded perfectly. They were so close together, Tendou could smell Ushijima's faint cologne. "C'mon now, the food is getting cold. I’m feeling alright, don’t worry.”

Ushijima knew that was a lie. He didn't want to let go, but he had to. Separated from their embrace, the two felt cold. The two took a seat and picked on their food. Suddenly, the food doesn’t look appetizing anymore.

“How much was the food?” Tendou asked, trying to spark up conversation between the two of them.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ushijima answered, taking a sip from his drink. “What I’m worried about is you, Tendou. You’re not feeling alright, are you? I can see it in your eyes.”

Tendou didn’t speak, he just avoided Ushijima’s gaze. He was afraid. He was afraid that if he spoke up about what he’s feeling, if he spoke up about his struggles… He didn’t even want to think about it. He finally got a friend after months and months of being alone, he didn’t want to risk losing Ushijima.

He’s all that he has.

“I know we made a deal that we would forget about all of the problems just for one night,” Ushijima spoke slowly. “But, I’m your friend, Tendou. Whatever bothering you is bothering me too. I can listen.”

“But if you really don’t want to talk about it, then it’s fine by me,” Ushijima sighed. He looked at Tendou with nothing but admiration. Ushijima badly wanted to hold his hand to comfort him, but he’s afraid that he might freak Tendou out. 

“Why…” Tendou breathed out. He closed his eyes and shook his head. There were so many things going on around his head, he felt a headache coming. The darkness was there, feeding him with ideas, with words, with every bad thing Tendou didn’t want to think about. 

He felt like blood was pounding in his ears. His heart thudded in his chest as if it was attempting to break out from his body. His body tingled with coldness, his hands and his body shook. Tendou didn’t know what was happening. His vision was disfigured and blurry. He couldn’t hear anything. It was as if he’s underwater, slowly drowning. He felt like throwing up but he couldn’t. He found it hard to breathe. It was like there’s something stopping him—like something was holding him by his throat, suffocating him. Tendou cried for help, he cried for Ushijima’s name, but he couldn't even hear his own voice. His vision went darker and darker. The only thing he saw before the darkness completely engulfed him was Ushijima’s worried face, his hands reaching out to him. He was shouting something Tendou couldn’t quite comprehend, maybe his name. Tendou wanted to reach his hand, maybe hold it, but he felt too weak.

Then his world went black.

Ushijima sat on a monobloc chair beside Tendou’s hospital bed. The doctors told him that Tendou will be fine but he couldn’t sit still in his chair knowing Tendou just… His body shuddered upon recalling the situation. He was so afraid. He thought… he thought he lost Tendou. Ushijima cursed at himself for pushing Tendou too hard. He felt like shit. He wanted to comfort him but ended up doing much worse. He vowed never to do that again. Seeing Tendou going through that broke Ushijima. 

Tendou slept peacefully despite being in the cold hospital room. Ushijima then only noticed how pale Tendou really was, it was like all life had been sucked out of him. Ushijima held his hand, tracing his thumb over his knuckles. Tendou looked so frail. 

“I’m sorry,” Ushijima whispered as he buried his face on the bed, just beside Tendou’s body. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t know. I… fuck.”

“Woah there, buddy,” Ushijima instantly looked up upon hearing Tendou’s voice. His voice was hoarse, as if he was dehydrated. “I didn’t know you curse.”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Can you please get me a glass of water?” Tendou politely asked, as if he was avoiding Ushijima’s question. Ushijima just nodded and grabbed a glass of water from the dispenser. He then gave them to Tendou. Ushijima noticed how shaky Tendou’s hands were.

“What happened?” Tendou asked as he held the empty glass of water in his hands. He didn’t look at Ushijima though he saw a bit of his reflection on the glass. “I remembered my vision becoming blurry, and then, and then I couldn’t hear anything. I don’t know, I was shouting but I couldn’t hear myself, I thought I was going deaf. My head was spinning like crazy too.”

Tendou shook his head and paused for a second. “Ushijima, what just happened to me?”

“The doctor said you just had a panic attack,” Ushijima’s voice were soft and gentle, as if he was afraid that if he raised his tone higher, Tendou would break. “Have you… Have you experienced it before?”

“Uhm, I’m not sure,” Tendou answered. Ushijima’s heart sank. “I mean, I don’t know. Sure, I get anxious and stuff. But I never… I never experienced something like that before.”

Ushijima looked down at Tendou’s hands; they were shaking. He was gripping the glass so tight, Ushijima was afraid it would burst and hurt him. Without thinking, he looked at Tendou in the eye and asked, “Do you want me to hold your hand?”

Surprised was etched into his face, then followed disbelief. “What?”

“It’s shaking so bad, do you want me to hold them?” Tendou then looked at his hands. He didn’t even realize that they were shaking, or that he was gripping the glass so tight. When Ushijima didn’t receive a response, he rephrased his question. “Can I hold your hand?”

Tendou felt his heart thumping like crazy. “I mean, if you want. Sure.”

Ushijima grabbed the empty glass of water from Tendou and placed it on a nearby table before taking Tendou’s hands and holding it in his. Tendou felt heat rushing through his face. Ushijima’s hands weren’t that soft, he was a volleyball player so his hands were kind of rough. His hands were warm.

“Are you feeling better?” Ushijima asked. There was a faint blush evident on his cheeks. Tendou found it adorable, he can’t help but to smile. 

“I mean you just held my hand, it’s not like it’s going to magically stop my hands from shaking,” Tendou jokes. “But yeah, I am feeling a little bit better. Thanks.”

“Do you want me to talk? Or do you want it to be quiet for a while?”

“Maybe the latter option,” Tendou smiled and Ushijima nodded, brushing his thumb against Tendou’s knuckles.

It was silent for a while, a good few minutes or so. Only the sound of the air conditioner and the people passing by outside are the noises that can be heard. It has been a long time since Ushijima went to a hospital, it wasn’t a great memory either. He looked at the clock and noticed that it was 3 in the morning. Damn, how long was he out?

“Hey buddy,” Tendou slightly nudged Ushijima. He was dozing off, he felt bad for bringing him into his situation. 

“Hmm?” Ushijima hummed before yawning. “Sorry. Do you need anything?”

“No, no, don’t get up,” Tendou pulled Ushijima down to his seat, their hands were still intertwined. “I just want to ask you something.”

Ushijima looked at Tendou, urging him to continue talking. Tendou took a deep breath, there was something bothering him and he wanted to know if the doctors had a say in it. 

“Did the doctor say anything? About me? Am I sick? Am I going crazy? Is there any medical reasonings behind my panic attack?”

Ushijima recalled what the doctor told him earlier. He was so worried about Tendou that he couldn’t really focus at all on what he was saying, but he did remember a few important things.

“Depression,” Ushijima answered. “Depression and anxiety. The doctor said that maybe you’re undergoing through those. Though they didn’t diagnose you with it yet since they haven’t talked to you. They said they didn't want to misdiagnose you or anything like that."

Tendou looked at Ushijima, his mouth slightly agape. He knew this was going to happen, yet he didn’t want to believe it. He wasn’t sick, he shouldn’t be, he didn’t want to be. He didn’t have the funds to be sick right now. He barely even has money to eat a meal—one meal.

“Fuck… It can’t be,” Tendou said, his brows furrowed. “I can’t be sick. I’m not sick. I’m healthy, I’m perfectly fine!”

“Tendou, calm down,” Ushijima stood up from his chair and sat beside Tendou, rubbing his back as an attempt to calm him down. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“How can you say that?” Tendou asked, the tone of his voice rose which surprised Ushijima. “You’re not the one suffering Ushijima, how can you say that everything is going to be alright? I don’t want to be sick! I can’t afford to be sick! So, how can you exactly say that everything is going to be alright?”

Ushijima didn’t speak, only then did Tendou realize what he said. Guilt immediately consumed him. He didn't intend to burst out just like that.

“Fuck, sorry,” Tendou buried his head in his hands and brought his legs closer to his chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. That wasn’t me.”

“I know,” Ushijima’s voice were merely a whisper. “I’m sorry too. That… that was insensitive of me. I didn’t know you would feel that way.”

Tendou didn’t answer. Ushijima didn’t say anything after that, afraid that he would offend Tendou again. There was a long silence before Tendou spoke again. His voice sounded defeated. “When can I leave this place?”

“I’ll go get someone first,” Ushijima said before leaving the room.

"I didn't know you had a car," Tendou said upon seeing Ushijima's car parked in the parking lot. It was black, and rather cool-looking too. 

"I barely use it," Ushijima answered, opening the door for Tendou, placing his other hand on top of the door so he wouldn't accidentally bump his head. 

Ushijima then went to the driver's seat and to drive. He placed the key in the ignition and began driving back to his apartment. It was a good thing his manager had some free time today and got to drop off his car at the hospital. 

"Sorry, the media must've had their eyes on you know," Tendou said after a while of silence. 

"Don't worry about it," Ushijima answered, smoothly driving the car along the road. "My manager is taking care of it. Your privacy isn't going to be leaked or anything. I… I made sure of it."

Tendou just nodded and leaned back on the seat. It has been a long time since he rode a car, especially a friend's. It isn't like he owns one either too. The interior of Ushijima's car was black, with some accents of red. Tendou thought that it was kind of cool. It smelled just like him too, manly. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ushijima asked. Tendou knew what he was pertaining to. 

The time the doctor arrived inside the room, Tendou kindly asked Ushijima to leave. Ushijima understood that Tendou isn't ready to share too much sensitive information about him and he understood that. He respected that. For Tendou, Ushijima was willing to be patient. Ushijima was willing to wait. They're friends after all. 

"Maybe after I get some rest," Tendou said, shutting the conversation off. 

He knew he had to tell him, heck he could tell Ushijima was so worried about him, but he didn't want to just yet. He wasn't ready to entirely open up to him. There was a lot of confusion and doubt going on inside his mind, he didn't want to take a risk he wasn't ready to take. 

When they arrived at Ushijima's apartment, Tendou was hesitant to open the door and enter. He felt so guilty for whatever reason. He badly wanted to run away and hide from it all, but he knew it wasn't an option. He opened the door and he was greeted by the comforting scent of Ushijima's apartment. Tendou recognized the smell now, a hint of vanilla and some fresh flowers. 

Ushijima entered his house, not forgetting to take his shoes off in the process. He grabbed a towel from the rack and looked at Tendou. 

"I'm going to shower. You can go rest," he said and Tendou just nodded, looking at the couch. 

"Yeah, I'll take the couch," Tendou walked towards the couch and removed the throw pillows and placed it on the side for the meantime. He was finding out a way to expand the couch as Ushijima approached him. 

"Let me help."

"No, I can do it," Tendou said, his tone a bit different from before. 

Ushijima retreated. He tilted his head to the side as he looked at Tendou. Tendou on the other hand pretended to be doing something else so just they won't meet gaze. Ushijima clicked his tongue before nodding. 

Tendou knew that he shouldn't be acting that way. He must've sounded so rude to Ushijima right now. But he just felt like a burden to him. Every single thing, Ushijima did for him. Ushijima let him stay in for the night, he let him use his bathroom, his washing machine, he even prepared food for him and took him to a festival. Even granny did the same, offering him free food and shelter.

Although Tendou basically has nothing, he wasn't comfortable with that. There they were, giving him everything he needed, but he couldn't even pay them back for all the good things that they have done for him.

Tendou felt like shit. A freeloader. A leech.

That's why he left granny's place in the first place, he wasn't intending to stay anyway. 

After a few moments of struggling, Tendou finally managed to fix the pull out couch. He placed the throw pillows back to where they belong before laying down. It was comfortable.

He heard the familiar click of the bathroom door and pretended to fall asleep. He immediately shut his eyes and curled up to his side, his back facing Ushijima. 

Ushijima then noticed Tendou and sighed. His hair was still wet. He was wearing nothing but a pair of comfortable shorts. His towel was still hanging on his shoulders. His upper body, muscles and all, are exposed. He opened up his cabinet and decided to grab a blanket for Tendou. Tendou tried to keep still and steadied his breathing. He was trying so hard not to look suspicious. Ushijima draped the blanket over Tendou, then, he grabbed the remote for the air conditioner and turned the temperature up so it wouldn't be too cold for him. Tendou appreciated the gesture though he didn't say it.

Ushijima looked at the clock, it was almost 5 am. He was tired but he knew sleeping right now would just ruin his sleeping schedule. So, he just decided to stay up. Maybe he'll nap later on in the day or just take a big fat sleep later in the night. He brewed himself a cup of coffee that was a little bit too strong for his liking. He scrunched his face at the bitter taste but decided to finish the cup anyway. He washed his cup in the sink before making a warm cup of milk. 

It wasn't for him, it was for Tendou. After making sure the milk powders were all dissolved and the milk wasn't too hot, he made his way over to Tendou and lightly tapped his thigh. Tendou rolled over, faking a yawn. 

"I knew you were awake," Tendou's face flushed red upon hearing Ushijima's words. "Here, have some milk."

"Gee, am I that bad at acting? That's a shame," Tendou tried to joke but Ushijima didn't laugh.

"I noticed you trying to control your breathing. No unconscious person would be able to do that."

Then Ushijima sat down beside Tendou, a few inches away from him. Tendou was hesitant to take the milk but Ushijima took his time to make sure it wasn't too hot for him. The cup of milk in his hands warmed up his whole body. He took a sip. Ushijima had a faint smile on his face upon seeing Tendou's milk mustache. He wanted to say that he was adorable, but chose not to.

Once again, there was silence. They both didn't know when the silence became deafening. Before, both of them would just be comfortable laying in silence for a while, hearing each other's steady breaths and faint hums and murmurs. But now, the silence was so awkward, it was unbearable. Ushijima's head raced through different topics to talk about but there was none he found amusing to actually bring up and talk about with Tendou. He found it weird, usually he isn't like this. What has changed in a span of a few days?

"Do you want to hear my story?" Tendou said after a while, setting the now empty cup of milk down on top of the coffee table.

"You don't have to if you don't want," Ushijima said, his eyes full of concern for the red-head. Something tells him that something isn't right. "If you're not comfortable sharing it with me then it's fine. I understand that."

Tendou pursed his lips and shook his head. "No really, I want to tell." 

Maybe if Tendou told him his story, it would be easier for him to let go. After all, his story is what all he had of himself. Maybe he could pay Ushijima back with this instead of currencies. Maybe he wouldn't feel guilty then for being such a worthless man.

Besides that, he wasn't intending to stay for longer anyway.

"Tendou…"

"No, please listen to me," Tendou's voice was calm and collected, maybe a little bit melancholic. "I promised you, didn't I? I don't want to break a promise I made for a friend. I don't want to be such a terrible person."

Something isn't right, Ushijima knew it. But Tendou doesn't wanna be stopped. With a defeated sigh, Ushijima nodded, giving in.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Tendou Satori, also known as me," Tendou smiled. He hugged his knees closer to his body, his pale fingers laced together. "I like to believe that I have a happy childhood. The kind of childhood other kids envy. The childhood that makes you think, 'Wow, that kid is really lucky, I wish I was him' and the like. Why do I want to believe it, you say?" He chuckled. "Well, because I can't remember my childhood. Absolutely none of it. Some parts maybe, but other than that, nada, poof, gone with the wind. It was like some magician just magically whisked it away with his magic wand."

Ushijima didn't speak, he only listened. It was not that big of a gesture, but Tendou appreciated it.

"What I remember is, I used to love volleyball since I was a kid. I used to play every single day on the fields under the sun. I used to come home all dirty and soaked in sweat too. My mother wasn't very fond of that. She would scold me multiple times, saying at least I should wipe my sweat and dust off outside, but I don't know, somehow I would always forget. One day, she just didn't care. She didn't scold me. She didn't even acknowledge me." 

Tendou inhaled before fiddling with his fingers. Ushijima noticed how sad his expression was. He scooted closer to Tendou. Tendou didn't mind.

"You don't have to continue," Ushijima whispered but Tendou just shook his head.

"No, I already started, might as well finish it, yeah?" There was a sad smile on Tendou's face. It broke Ushijima's heart. 

"I was the only child in our family so I was used to being the center of attention," Tendou added. "Back then, my mom and dad would always acknowledge my presence, give me lots of hugs and kisses and those things, praise me, show me lots of affection. The moment they stopped, it was the moment I knew and realized that something was wrong."

"So, long story short, yadda-yadda, they were both having affairs and decided to just divorce. Just like that, without even consulting me. Without even telling me what's wrong—without even thinking of me. And of course, being a small little child, I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know why they suddenly didn't hug or kiss me, why they suddenly didn't give me as much affection as they used to."

Tendou swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. "Because they divorced and none of them wanted to take me in their new families, I was left alone with my grandparents. You know what was their reason for leaving me behind? Because I reminded them of one another! That's fucking stupid! I'm their child for goodness sake. As a child, it hurt me—heck, it still hurts me now! How dare they leave me like that, as if I was some piece of trash, as if I was some old furniture. I was just discarded as easily as that. Given away. As a kid, it scared me. I hated my parents, I never wanted to be near them ever again. I tried to forget about them because it was clear that they wanted to forget me too."

Tendou's body was shaking with anger. Ushijima was afraid that he would do something to hurt himself. Ushijima draped his arm cautiously around Tendou. It didn't make much of a difference, but Tendou appreciated his kindness. In response, Tendou laid his head on Ushijima's arm. Ushijima scooted closer so both of them would be much more comfortable.

"As I was saying," Tendou began, much calmer now. "To forget all of that, to forget all the problems I have at home, I used volleyball as an escape. When I went into middle school, I went and joined a volleyball club, passed the try-outs, and even made it into the team. I thought that was it, you know? I thought I finally had my own place. But turns out, I was wrong."

"The kids in my team never liked me. I was good at blocking and I always blocked all of their spikes so I thought that was the reason why they hated me—because they couldn't score a single point off me whenever we had practice matches. But no, it was because I was scary-looking. It was because I looked like a monster. They called me names, cruel and ugly ones."

"You don't look like a monster, Tendou," Ushijima was quick to say that but Tendou just shook his head. 

"The place I thought was my home, turns out it wasn't," Tendou breathed heavily. There were tears in his eyes that he refused to let go of. He breathed in and blinked, causing some tears to fall. "You know what I did to try and be pretty? I ate flowers. I ate flowers because they looked pretty and I thought that was going to make me one too. In the end it just made me feel sick. I even drew angels and princesses and all those things. I practiced smiling in the mirror everyday so that I wouldn't scare the other kids whenever I try to smile. I even tried putting pins in my hair and tried wearing pretty clothes. Goodness. Did you know what my grandparents did when they found out? They didn't confront my bullies, they burned all my drawings, threw away the hairpins I spent money saving up for. They did that because what? It wasn't manly? God, I had a beating because of it too. My grandfather hated the way I acted and called me names. As if I wasn't called names enough."

Tendou winced, as if he was recalling the memories and all the bruises and pains he was in before. They were all coming back, they were all resurfacing, facing him again. The dark thoughts in his head whispered nothings in his ear and gave breathy kisses on his skin.

"Tendou, let's stop. It's clear that you feel uncomfortable."

"No! Listen to me!" Tendou raised his voice, tears now pouring from his eyes. "Please, just listen to me. Just this once, I want someone to listen to me." 

"Tendou, you're hurting," Ushijima held Tendou's face ever so carefully. Tendou sobbed. Ushijima wiped some of Tendou's tears using his thumb. "You're breaking my heart. I can't stand seeing you like this."

"Please, listen to me," Tendou begged. Ushijima never thought that his heart could break more. Tendou looked so fragile, so frail, as if one harsh move and he would break. "I will be okay. Please listen."

"You don't have to force yourself." 

"I won't," Tendou whispered. "I want you to get to know me. Please listen."

Ushijima sighed and without thinking, he kissed Tendou's forehead. Tendou felt warmth surround his body, it was comforting, so loving, he tried so hard not to break down more than he's doing right now. 

"Hold my hand," Tendou said and Ushijima didn't waste any second holding Tendou's hand in his. "Fast forward to high school. I didn't continue playing volleyball because of the memories I had with it. It wasn't really that… you know? I had a phase during high school, I'm not going to elaborate much more on that. Anyway, I started liking this person because they were kind to me. Their smile was contagious too. Stupid little old me fell in love and got his heart broken. Towards the end of high school, the same thing happened again, then again, and again, and again. One broken heart after another. Their reasonings were all the same. Even though I tried really hard to change, it was still the same. From then on, I settled that maybe love just wasn't for me, so I never tried again. What's the point anyway? I don't want to be the next person people write on their people-I-dumped-list."

"And then college came. I didn't get to attend college. My grandparents died and I shouldered the expenses of living alone. It was too much for me you know? I don't have any job because no one would hire someone like me for whatever reason, hence I didn't get to pay the electric bills and the water bills and all that shit. And then somehow, the news reached my parents. They visited me, saying they can offer me money, saying they will pay all the expenses I need, including education," Tendou shook his head. "Do you realize how pathetic they looked in that situation? Even more pathetic than me! Do they really expect me to just run-up to their arms and accept them? They were gone for almost half of my life. They were strangers to me now. They're nobodies. They left me." 

"I was so mad that I said the most ungrateful words I could ever think of. I poured all my emotions out. I drained myself. Then while they were still there, I packed my bags, flipped them off, and walked out of the house," Tendou brushed his hand through his hair. "Do you know what I saw outside? Two gorgeous cars that are brand new too. And you know who I saw inside? Their family. My mom had three kids with his new husband. My dad had two with his new wife. It felt so unfair for me. They were living so comfortably while I was left suffering alone. I was so annoyed, I kicked one of the cars. Then I ran away even before they could catch me."

"So I wandered the streets alone until a guy came up to me and said he will offer me a job in the city in exchange for money. I was blinded, I was desperate, so I agreed. I didn't have much money but I gave him most of it. I badly wanted a place to stay, a place to call home. I went to the city with the address that he texted me. I then realized upon reaching that place that I was scammed. That fucker blocked my number so I never had the means to reach him again. I tried reporting him to the authorities but nobody would believe somebody looking like me."

"For months I wandered. From apartment to apartment and getting kicked out eventually. The weight of my problems weighed more than the suitcase I dragged around the concrete pavements. Granny from the restaurant took me in, took care of me, treated me as her own. She said I could stay but my conscience wouldn't let me. It guilted me. She looked like my grandmother before my mom and dad divorced. She was exactly like my grandmother. That's why I left." 

Tendou then turned to Ushijima. "And then you found me," his voice cracked and Ushijima felt his heart ache. Emotions filled his body, tears filled his eyes. "I was ready to rest because I was so tired. I was throwing myself a little party. A last party for myself. I was ready to let it all go, but then you found me and asked to tell you my story."

Both their tears fell. Tendou wiped Ushijima's tears away with the sleeves of his sweater, then he caressed his cheek before pressing their forehead together. "And now I'm here, in the comfort of your small apartment, telling you my story. You took me in, and you made me forget all the bad things in life, even just for a moment. And… and I was thankful, so thankful for someone like you who reached out to me. I have nothing, but you still welcomed me into your life. I owe you my life, buddy."

Ushijima's throat felt dry. He wondered if he hadn't seen Tendou and talked to him that one cold night, what would happen? Would life be different? Would he be acting like this? Ushijima knew that the moment he let Tendou in his life, there was no turning back. And he wouldn't dare to turn back. After all, Tendou said to him, Ushijima just didn't want to let go. He wanted to help him, he wanted to help his friend. Ushijima then realized that he is all that Tendou has.

After that, neither of them spoke. It was just both of them silently crying as they held each other. Their bodies molding perfectly together as if they were meant to be. Tendou's hands were in Ushijima's rough but comforting ones. Their breathing was in sync with one another. 

Time passed and neither of them moved from their positions. Ushijima noticed the sun rising, indicating that the night had passed and the morning was coming in. It felt symbolic. 

"Can I say something now?" Ushijima asked, his voice hoarse. Tendou nodded as he looked up at Ushijima. He looked so perfect as the sun rays were lightly kissing his tanned skin, creating beautiful soft shadows that looked ethereal on him. Tendou thought that Ushijima almost looked like a Greek god.

"Thank you for opening up to me. I knew it was hard for you to do so, thank you for being so brave," Ushijima said and looked at Tendou with tenderness in his eyes.

"I wasn't that brave," Tendou said, his voice meek. 

"But you are," Ushijima held Tendou's face. There was a gentle expression on Ushijima's face that Tendou found endearing. "If you saw yourself through my eyes, you will realize how brave and how beautiful you are, Tendou. You may not see it yourself but to me, you are different. A good difference.”

Tendou's eyes widened as he took up Ushijima's words. Ushijima was never the one to speak of words of affection. Tendou looked at his eyes and searched for any hint of dishonesty but saw nothing but pure and raw emotions so intense, he had to look away. Tendou’s breathing hitched, his heart beating fast. 

What Ushijima said was true. Tendou was not a monster, not in any bit. The thing is, most people don't see themselves the way other people see them. For Ushijima, if he could only show Tendou how beautiful he is, he would. Tendou doesn't see how beautiful he is whenever he would smile at Ushijima's blunt remarks. Tendou doesn't see himself when he's blabbering about something he likes. Tendou doesn't see the way his face crinkles up whenever he laughs. Tendou doesn't see how ethereal he looked under the night sky with the stars surrounding him, providing him with a faint light. 

Tendou doesn't see himself the way Ushijima did, and Ushijima wished he did. In Ushijima's eyes, Tendou was perfect, in all of his imperfect ways. Ushijima almost thought that it was silly that thinking about Tendou made his heart race faster than volleyball. 

“What are you doing to me?” Tendou laughed weakly, lightly hitting Ushijima’s bare chest. Ushijima smiled and loosely grabbed Tendou’s wrists, careful to not hurt him.

“What are you doing to me?” Ushijima repeated. “It has been more or less than 168 hours since we met, yet you have already taken shelter in my heart and made yourself comfortable. You have to be responsible for that, you know?"

Tendou chuckled, a shy smile forming on his face. "Stop," he said. "You're making this so difficult for me. You gotta stop doing that."

"Making what so difficult?" 

But Tendou didn't speak. He just shook his head as he closed his eyes, stretching his arms and legs as he did so. Tendou yawned, causing Ushijima to yawn too. Tendou laughed upon seeing the reaction.

He badly wanted to kiss Ushijima, but he knew he shouldn't.

"You should probably go to sleep. It's your rest day, isn't it?" Tendou brushed Ushijima's bangs away from his face. Ushijima's cheeks flushed red as he tried to contain the unfamiliar feelings bottling up inside him. 

"I don't want to sleep yet, it will mess up my sleeping schedule," Ushijima murmured, burying his face on Tendou's neck. When he realized what he did, he stiffened. "Is this okay?"

Tendou could only chuckle. Ushijima's breath tickled him. "Sure," Tendou patted Ushijima's head and combed his hand through his soft hair. "Gee, that reminds me of the first time we met. Sorry for ruining your beauty sleep."

"I already told you, I don't 'beauty sleep'. I—"

"Yeah, you just sleep like a normal person. I get it, I get it," Tendou chuckled and patted Ushijima's head. "I get it."

Tendou laid down on the couch so they could cuddle comfortably. He thought that it was odd with Ushijima being the little spoon and all, but he was enjoying it. Ushijima made sure not to crush Tendou with his weight. Ushijima's head was placed on Tendou's chest. He could hear his heart beating. Tendou couldn't resist and kissed the crown of Ushijima's head, earning a relieved sigh from the athlete. Tendou's right hand was loosely placed on Ushijima's back as the other was playing with Ushijima's hair. 

"Tendou?" Ushijima called and Tendou hummed in response. "I'm right here."

Tendou tried not to be emotional again. He nodded and laced his free hand with Ushijima's left hand before bringing it close to his lips and kissing it. Ushijima looked at Tendou, his expression soft.

"I'm not gonna go anywhere," Ushijima added. Tendou covered his mouth as he stifled a sob. "I'm going to be with you every step of the way. I'll never leave you. I don't plan to."

"Don't do this to me, Wakatoshi-kun," Tendou whispered. "I don't think you don't know what you are saying. We don't have full control of the world. We don't know what's going to happen next. The world is cruel and unpredictable. It—"

"You have already shared a part of your world with me," Ushijima laced their fingers again. "Yes, the world is cruel, and although I know it isn't possible, I'm willing to bend the world to your will if it means seeing you smile again. I will carry you over fire and water, over valleys and mountains. I will hold you closer through cold and unforgiving nights. If the night is coming down on you and feeds you with negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, I know we will find a way. I'll hold your hand through the dark as we search for the light."

Ushijima gently kissed Tendou's tears away. "I'm right here," then Ushijima pointed to the center of his chest. "And you're right here." 

Tendou can't help but to giggle and squish Ushijima's cheeks with his hands. "God, you make me want to kiss you."

"What's stopping you?" There was a gentle but teasing smile on his face. Tendou's heart was beating like crazy, he felt like he's going to pass out.

"A lot of things," was Tendou's answer. Tendou then leaned in and kissed Ushijima's forehead instead of his lips, which surprised the athlete. "You're driving me crazy. Stop it already."

"I'll try."

Genuine laughter filled Ushijima's small apartment. The two went back to cuddling, the comfortable silence engulfed them both. For a moment, Tendou's demons were quiet. 

The silence was interrupted by their growling stomachs. Come to think of it, they didn't eat any food that night. Ushijima then stood up, and stretched, his muscles flexing as he did so.

"What do you want to eat?" He asked, facing Tendou who just shrugged in response. "Alright then, I'll just cook something quick."

Ushijima grabbed the apron that was hanging from a hook in the kitchen and wore it. He had trouble putting it on because of the design of the straps. Tendou laughed as he stood up and approached Ushijima.

"Do it like this," Tendou gathered the two crisscrossed straps of the apron and put it over Ushijima's head. "Then put your arms here. Turn around so I can tie the ribbon."

And Ushijima did. He turned around, his bare back is now facing Tendou. Tendou tried a pretty little bow before patting Ushijima's back. He wasn't going to lie, he liked Ushijima's back muscles. He couldn't help but fanboy a bit at the sight.

"Whatcha gonna make?"

"Eggs," Ushijima retrieved three eggs from the refrigerator. "And maybe some toasts."

Tendou sat down on the kitchen countertop, his feet dangling on the edge, and watched as Ushijima walked around in the kitchen as he went and retrieved some ingredients. Ushijima grabbed a pan from the cabinet and placed it on the stove.

"You're looking like a real hubby material there sir," Tendou pointed out. Ushijima then turned to Tendou. He placed himself in between his legs, his hands both on either side of Tendou. Ushijima's face was close. In fact, a little too close.

"Yeah?" Ushijima asked with an amused smile on his face. Tendou pursed his lips before looking away. Ushijima's gaze was so intense he felt like passing out.

"I-Uh... Hmm?"

Ushijima laughed at Tendou's reaction before bopping his nose with his. "Aren't you cute?"

"Wha-What the heck are you talking about? I'm not cute!" It was clear that Tendou was flustered and Ushijima was enjoying his reactions. "Isn't the-isn't the eggs going to burn?"

"I haven't put them yet," said, not moving an inch. Tendou's face was almost as red as his hair. He wondered when Ushijima got this… this… whatever you call this is!

"Well, isn't the pan, I don't know, going to heat up or something?" Tendou scratched his head.

"It is supposed to heat up, yes."

Tendou grunted and covered his face with his hand. He felt so embarrassed. Ushijima was looking at him as if they were the only people in the room. Well, technically they were. He wasn't sure what to feel but one thing is for sure, it was like butterflies were tickling his stomach whenever Ushijima would make eye contact with him. No one really made eye contact with Tendou. Rather, no one wanted to.

"Stop looking at me like thaaaat," Tendou shyly said as he felt Ushijima kissed the crown of his head. He blushed even more. "Do you… Do you like me or something?"

Tendou peeked at Ushijima through his fingers. "Romantically?" The athlete asked. "Or platonically?"

"I mean… it's just…" Tendou tried to find words to say but nothing came to mind. "I don't know. Do friends normally kiss each other and that shit?"

"Maybe," Ushijima shrugged as he went back to the stove. "Do you want to know my answer?"

"Uhhh, duh?" Tendou crossed his arms. "Would I be asking you if I don't want to know the answer?"

Ushijima could only chuckle. "Ask me again after we win our game. I'll have my answer then. Along with your kiss."

"Shut uppppp," Tendou almost wanted to rip his hair out because of what he said that night. I mean, how could he say that? Sure maybe he did want a kiss from Ushijima, or rather, he thought of it, but still.

"What? You wanted one don't you?"

"Oh my god, I'm going to pass out."

"Alright, alright, I'll stop." Ushijima smiled. He was never this playful with other people, Tendou took notice of that too.

It was like after they had that talk, something about Ushijima just changed.

"You're confident aren't you? That you're going to win, I mean," Tendou jumped down from the countertop and went beside Ushijima. "Why wouldn't you be. You're the best player out there. Of course, you're going to beat the other team's ass."

"I just like to believe in myself, that's all. After all, it's not just baseless confidence. I do have the skills," Ushijima answered as he cracked the egg with one hand. He made sure to move away from the pan just a bit so that the oil wouldn't accidentally splash on Tendou.

Ushijima then placed his hand around Tendou and rested it on his waist. Tendo leaned his head on Ushijima's shoulder in response. Ushijima couldn't describe it, but he really liked having Tendou around. He isn't usually the clingy type of person, but with Tendou, it's different. He liked it like this. He just doesn't have the courage to tell him yet. It's too soon.

While the eggs were cooking, Tendou placed the toasts in the toaster. He patiently waited for it to pop out before putting it on a plate. He also made some orange juice while he's at it since Ushijima kindly asked him to.

"This is one heck of a juice drawer you got here, buddy," Tendou said upon seeing the juice packets Ushijima had. There were ice tea flavored juice, some apple ones, and other citrusy flavors. "Let me guess, they were on sale?"

"Mhmm," Ushijima hummed in agreement as he took his apron off and hung it on the hook. He carried the plate of eggs to the table as Tendou grabbed glasses for the juice. 

Ushijima was going to sit down when he noticed that he was still shirtless. He headed to his cabinet and put on a random t-shirt that he found. It was a black t-shirt with a drawing of a cute cow in front of it. It was snug on him, but he didn't mind. Upon returning to the dining table, Tendou couldn't help but to stare in awe.

"You're damn adorable, oh my god," he smiled but then widened his eyes when he realized he said that out loud. Ushijima bit back a smile. 

"Thanks, Tendou."

"I-Uh, yeah, you're welcome."

After their little breakfast, they decided to just lounge around on the couch. Tendou was laying on the couch while Ushijima was on the floor sitting crisscrossed while reading some magazines. The television was on a random channel Tendou found entertaining. Tendou was dozing off but he didn't want to sleep. Instead, he decided to play with Ushijima's hair.

Ushijima's phone then buzzed which caught his attention. Ushijima placed the magazine on his lap as he retrieved his phone from the coffee table. He had a small smile upon seeing the message. It was Semi and Shirabu with dog filters on their face. It looked like they were in Shirabu's apartment. Shirabu had a medical book in his hand as if he was busy studying and Semi just decided to disturb him. Shirabu wasn't clearly having it because he was frowning but Semi's smile was so bright it made Ushijima smile too. 

"Tendou."

"Yes?"

"How do you do this filter? I want to reply to Semi."

Tendou rolled a bit closer to the edge of the sofa to look at Ushijima's phone. There he saw Semi using a dog filter and looking all silly. 

"I think it's within the app too," Tendou said and placed his head on Ushijima’s shoulder so he could see better. Ushijima then leaned back, their cheeks touching. “I think it’s this one,” Tendou said as he clicked the filter. “You never used this app before?”

“I don’t take photos that much. I only downloaded this because Semi asked me to,” Ushijima answered. The filter then showed up, causing him to smile. “Do you wanna join? Semi would appreciate it too.”

“I think you just want a picture with me, Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou teased. 

“Maybe that too.”

“Alright then,” Tendou agreed. He looked at the camera as Ushijima took the photo. “Wait, that’s cute! Take another one.”

And they did. They took a lot of photos together, with filters and all that silly stuff. Tendou was now holding Ushijima’s phone. There was a smile on his face as he browsed through their collection of photos. Ushijima can’t help but to smile.

“Gotcha!” Tendou exclaimed as he showed Ushijima the photo he just took of him. “Your smile looks great, Wakatoshi-kun.”

“Yeah? You should thank yourself for that.”

Tendou’s face flushed red as he lightly kicked Ushijima on his side. Of course, Ushijima didn’t seem to be fazed by the action. “You have your way with words huh, don’t you?” Tendou asked, slightly pouting. 

“What do you mean? I was only being honest.”

“Then stop being so honest!” Tendou exclaimed, a soft blush on his cheeks. “My heart can only take so much you know?”

“Doki-doki,” Ushijima mumbled as he stood up. 

“What did you just say?” Tendou asked, an amused smile on his face. “Say it again.”

“Doki-doki?” Ushijima repeated as he blinked at Tendou. Tendou giggled before throwing a pillow at Ushijima. Ushijima was quick to catch it with his hands. 

“How can such a tall man be so damn adorable?” Tendou mumbled to himself. “Stop being adorable, you’re making my heart hurt.”

Ushijima could only smile. “I’ll try.”

The day passed, it was now night time. Tendou and Ushijima had just finished eating their dinner and are now getting ready to go to bed. Ushijima was by the door, holding a packet of something. He was reading it silently. Tendou noticed him and raised an eyebrow as he approached the athlete. 

“Whatcha got there, buddy?” Tendou asked which almost made Ushijima jump. “Oops, did I scare you? Sorry.”

“Come to the rooftop later. In like, 10 minutes,” was what Ushijima said before leaving the apartment unit. 

Tendou was confused by the way Ushijima acted. Nonetheless, he waited for 10 minutes before grabbing a warm jacket from his suitcase and putting them on and then made his way to the rooftop. The door was a little bit hard to open so he used his body weight to push open the door. He almost stumbled, good thing he caught himself. 

“Hey,” Tendou called at Ushijima. He was holding those fireworks in a stick, what was that called again? Sparkler? It was dark because it was night but the sparkler provided a warm glow of light. “What’s this?”

“There were fireworks on the night of the festival. I felt bad that you didn’t get to see it. They were beautiful,” Ushijima answered as he approached Tendou. He offered Tendou a stick and a lighter. “I wasn’t able to buy what they used, I wouldn’t trust myself with it. So I got these instead.”

Tendou’s heart leaped. “You don’t have to do this, you know?”

“But I want to.”

“Oh my god,” Tendou whispered. 

He felt like crying again. He appreciated every little thing that Ushijima was doing for him. He sniffed as he lit his sparkler. He then looked at Ushijima, only to find him already looking at him with a warm smile on his face. Tendou felt special. He never saw Ushijima smile during interviews or even at his posters plastered on billboards. Seeing him face to face with a genuine smile on his face, felt like a dream. 

“Tendou,” Ushijima called, snapping him out of his trance. He was holding a disposable camera in his hands, waiting to capture Tendou’s presence. His sparkler has now died down. “Smile for me.”

And Tendou did. He smiled so brightly that the sparkler no longer served its purpose. For Ushijima, Tendou was willing to smile whenever. Upon capturing the image, the two had their fun. They lit up more sparklers and drew random images in the air. Tendou felt free as if the weight of the world were no longer on his shoulders. Ushijima captured the moments he and Tendou shared. He was sure that the pictures wouldn’t come out perfect, but none of that matters. What matters is that Tendou was here, enjoying the time of his life.

Ushijima wouldn’t trade this moment for anything else. 

It was late when they finished having fun. The sparklers had run out and Ushijima’s film roll was already full. Both of them leaned on the edge of the rooftop, Ushijima was looking at the city lights while Tendou was looking up. 

“If we reached up high enough, would we touch the sky?”

Ushijima turned to Tendou. There was something in his eyes that Ushijima couldn't describe. Maybe it was just the light of the night sky playing tricks on him. Maybe it was something else. Ushijima didn’t want to dwell on the negative thoughts creeping on him so he approached Tendou’s question with a positive mind.

“Everything is possible if we tried,” he answered. “Why ask?”

Tendou shrugged, a faint smile on his face. “I don’t know. It just intrigued me. Scientists always want to know what was out there, what was beyond our reach. We keep reaching up, we keep doing science expeditions, but at what point do we touch the sky? Or are we already touching it without realizing?”

Ushijima didn’t answer. He didn’t have an answer, nor he didn’t know how to answer Tendou’s question. Instead, they stayed silent. Ushijima looked at Tendou and tried to decipher what he was thinking about. 

But he couldn’t see anything. 

“Should we head in now?” Tendou asked. “It’s getting kind of cold, and you have volleyball practice tomorrow, don’t you? Gotta get that 8 hours of sleep if you want to be alert.”

Ushijima pursed his lips. There was something unknown telling him that there’s something wrong, he just couldn’t pinpoint what it is or what’s causing it. Instead, he nodded and they went back to Ushijima’s apartment. 

Upon entering, Ushijima threw the trash in the trash can while Tendou prepared the couch. Ushijima only then realized that Tendou’s bags were still by the door. “You should unpack,” Ushijima said.

“Hmm?”

“Your things, you should unpack them. I have extra storage space.”

“Oh, that,” Tendou chuckled. “Yeah, I’ll do it tomorrow. I just want to get some rest right now.”

Ushijima nodded and went to his bed. He looked at Tendou, then at his cow plushie. His throat was itching to say something, maybe offer Tendou to sleep beside him, but he was afraid. Afraid of what? Ushijima didn’t know. Rejection?

“Tendou,” he called, at last. Tendou turned to look at Ushijima, waiting. “You’ll still be here tomorrow morning, right?”

Tendou gave him a faint smile. “Of course.”

Tendou was still there the following morning. He even cooked Ushijima some breakfast and even helped him clean the apartment a little bit. Tendou helped Ushijima pack his training bag before ushering him outside.

“I think I’ll be home a little bit late,” Ushijima said as he was putting his shoes on.

“Just take your time,” Tendou patted his back. Ushijima then nodded and kissed Tendou’s forehead before bidding goodbye. Tendou was left there in shock as Ushijima’s apartment door closed shut.

“You look happy,” one of Ushijima’s teammates pointed out. “Had a great morning?”

“Yes, actually,” Ushijima answered. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Tendou still being there when he woke up that morning. “Shall we practice now?”

The day was long and slow. The training ended a little bit later than usual. It was dark by the time Ushijima finished. He just got out of a quick shower then threw on some clothes. He hung his duffle bag on his shoulder and began walking out of the locker room. He bid goodbye to the trainees and their coach before making his way back home.

Upon walking on the sidewalk, he heard a small cry. He looked for the cause of the noise and saw a little kitten inside a box. It was alone. Ushijima crouched down and looked at the crying kitten. It was a cinnamon-colored kitten. Ushijima tried picking it up but it just clawed on his hand. 

“Why are you all alone?” He asked the cat. The cat just meowed back. He then concluded that the cat was abandoned. There was writing on the box that Ushijima failed to notice earlier. ‘Please take care of this cat. He seemed lonely.’ 

Ushijima just sighed and picked the box up. He felt responsible for the kitten now. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

Ushijima was talking to the kitten as they walked home. He tried to be gentle with it so that he wouldn't scare it away. For just a short time, Ushijima grew fond of the kitten. Maybe he’ll ask Tendou what to name it. Upon reaching the building, he used the elevator to go up to his floor. When he arrived, he placed the key in the lock and opened the door.

“Tendou?” He called but the lights were off. Ushijima took his shoes off and turned the lights on. He then picked up the kitten and held it in his hands. The kitten seemed calm now.

“Tendou? Are you here?” Ushijima called again. He knocked on the bathroom but there was no answer. He opened it and saw no one there. Ushijima felt panicked. He went out to the rooftop, hoping Tendou would be there. He hoped that Tendou was there as the last time, dancing in his pajamas as the crappy Bluetooth speakers played music.

He hoped that he was there.

But he wasn’t.

Ushijima went back to his apartment. He wondered where Tendou could be. He then froze upon seeing the space where Tendou’s bags used to be. He set the cat down on his bed and he walked towards his cabinet. Tendou’s clothes weren’t there. Ushijima’s head raced with thoughts. He hoped that Tendou was just playing a prank on him. 

‘You’ll still be here tomorrow morning, right?’

‘Of course.’

He didn’t want to admit to himself that maybe Tendou left him. He didn’t want to think that Tendou would just leave like that. Ushijima’s heart ached. He had so many plans for the both of them, why would Tendou suddenly leave just like that?

Ushijima heard the cat meow again. He turned to look and saw the cat tugging on something. Ushijima’s brows furrowed as he approached the small feline. He then noticed a folded piece of paper attached to Ushijima’s cow plushie. He grabbed it before the cat could.

“Sorry, but I think this is mine,” Ushijima apologized to the cat before petting it. With shaky hands, Ushijima unfolded the paper. He hasn’t even read the first word yet he already felt heavy.

‘My dear Wakatoshi-kun,

Hi! I know this isn’t an ideal way for me to say that I’m leaving, but thinking of it, I think I would prefer this than saying it in person.

I’m leaving, or rather, I already left.

I’m writing this as you were peacefully sleeping. You look cute when you’re hugging your plushy. How could someone be as athletic and as manly as you be so damn adorable? Anyway, I hope you don’t wake up from your sleep anytime soon because you’ll see the sobbing mess that I am. I hope you’re dreaming of something happy, preferably without me.

Don’t worry, me leaving is not your fault. I took it upon myself. No matter how I told myself that it’s okay, that you’re my friend and you don’t mind me living with you, guilt will always come back. I’m not used to leeching off of people. I know you meant well, but you see, I think that’s just the way it works for me. I can’t have other people helping me. I don’t like being looked at with pity in their eyes. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. 

Please don’t hate and blame yourself because I’m sure as hell I’m not blaming you. I don’t hate you. In fact, I like you. Goddamn, it has only been a few days yet you’ve been bugging my mind. You’re a good person, buddy. I knew that the first time we met. You never took advantage of me, you never abused the power you knew you had over me. Thank you for that. Thank you for being a decent human being. Thank you for letting me stay in the comfort of your home.

I enjoyed every time I spent with you. I will treasure every single moment we had. Thank you for the wonderful days. Thank you a lot, Ushijima. Words aren’t enough to describe how I’m thankful for you. If I could kneel and thank you for the rest of my life, I would. But I’m afraid I don’t have the time. 

If you’re waiting for me to end this note with those three words, I won’t. I don’t want you to be tied down with someone like me. I have problems that clearly needed help with, I wouldn’t elaborate more on that. I want you to be happy… and it’s okay if you’ll be happy with someone else. I could take that. As long as you’re happy, I could take all the pain there is in the world.

Sorry, I feel like it’s getting a bit redundant and I’m just rambling. Basically, the point is, I want to thank you. Thank you and sorry, please forgive me. 

Please be happy, even without me. 

Thank you for being my best friend, even if it was just for a short amount of time.

I will always be rooting for you. Go win that game, buddy. 

Your #1 fan, Tendou Satori.’

Ushijima was always quiet when he cried but this time, he cried hard for Tendou. He held the letter in his hands so tight. Tears welled from deep inside and traveled down to his cheeks, tear droplets wet his clothes. His chest tightened and he felt his heart breaking into thousands of pieces. He tried to wipe his cheek every few seconds but there was no point. A great sob escaped his throat as he held his face with his hands. 

Ushijima didn’t know how long he was crying. He felt dehydrated to the point that he could pass out. With tears still in his eyes, he stood up, grabbed the cat with him, and went to the kitchen. He placed the cat down as he grabbed himself a glass of water. The cat meowed.

“I’ll get you something,” Ushijima grabbed a shallow bowl from the cabinet and opened the fridge. He was so out of it that he didn’t realize that there was a sticky note on the milk container. 

‘I heard milk makes your bones stronger. Be sure to drink some. (Also, there was a kitten nearby. He looked so lonely, maybe you could give him a drink?)’

Ushijima poured the milk into the bowl and offered it to the kitten. He then walked towards the box and compared the handwriting. 

It was the same. Tendou was the one who wrote it. 

He looked back at the small kitten drinking his milk. He sat beside it. “What will I do with you?” He asked the cat who just meowed in response. “I’ll take care of you then since Tendou wanted me to.”

Ushijima was never the one to believe in fate, but he did this time.

He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. He couldn’t blame Tendou, he couldn’t hate him. All Ushijima wanted was to make Tendou happy. If it means leaving him, Ushijima can take it.

He then noticed something on the wall by the bathroom. It was another sticky note from Tendou. He looked around the apartment, it was everywhere. Ushijima never thought that his heart could break even more.

‘I think lavender is my favorite scent now.’

‘I think I’m starting to like cows too.’

‘Eat your fruits, they might go bad.’

‘Your pillows are so soft, I almost wanted to take one with me.’

‘I watched a few of your greek mythology movies. Yes, Zeus is a big horny lightning guy.’

‘Thank you for that night with the sparklers. I realized something then.’

Then he found a crumpled one, just beside the last note. There were scribbles over it as if Tendou didn’t want Ushijima to see what he wrote. Ushijima placed it near a light so he could see.

‘I think I love you.’

Ushijima fell on his knees, tears streamed down his face. Ushijima regretted leaving that morning. Ushijima regretted not hugging Tendou one last time. He regretted it a lot. If he could turn back time just so he could spend a little more time with Tendou, he would. He would do anything just to bring Tendou back.

He regretted not saying I love you to him that night. He regretted not being able to kiss him one last time.

It was all too late.

Tendou was already gone and he wasn’t sure if he’s going to come back.

“Ushijima, are you feeling well?” Their coach asked. It was now the big game that Ushijima has been preparing for, only, he’s lacking by so much today. Ushijima couldn’t answer. He looked for the crowd for a familiar face, but he saw nothing. He heard his coach sigh. “Go sit on the bench for the meantime. Cool your head a little bit.”

Ushijima nodded as he sat down. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t hear anything but the cheers of the crowd. He badly wanted to hear his voice again, he badly wanted to hear him laugh again. 

‘I will always be rooting for you. Go win that game, buddy.’

Ushijima felt tears running down his face. The people around him were shocked to see him in such a state. Everyone was staring but he didn’t care. He only wanted Tendou.

“Who are you doing this for?” His coach asked once he sat down beside him. “Are you satisfied with a game like this? Whatever it is, if you want to win, you have to do something about this.”

Ushijima could only nod. What was he doing? Tendou wanted him to win that game. Tendou will always be rooting for him. 

‘I’m here, and you’re here,’ Ushijima would always have Tendou with him. In his memories, in his heart. Tendou may have already left, but he will always have a place on Ushijima’s heart. He’s going to win this game... for Tendou.

“I came here to win,” Ushijima said. 

So he dedicated the game to Tendou. Every spike, every receive, every serve, everything was for Tendou. At that moment, Ushijima was unstoppable. He didn’t want to stop. For him, stopping means quitting, and he isn’t going to quit for Tendou any time soon. With every ball that came in contact with the palm of his hand, he smacked with power. He let all of his regret power up his serves. 

“And Ushijima Wakatoshi with another service ace! That man is unstoppable today!” He heard the reporter say. “That man is an absolute beast in the court.”

“For Tendou,” he said in his head as he tossed the ball higher. “And for all the things I didn’t get to say.” 

“SERVICE ACEEE!” The crowd went wild. His adrenaline didn’t decrease, his heart was pumping like crazy. Ushijima almost didn't want the game to stop. He wanted to prove himself to Tendou that he could win. The thought of Tendou rooting for him was the only thing that kept him going.

In the end, Ushijima’s team won. He felt like his body was going to give up on him any minute now. His hands were red and stinging. His breathing was labored. The coach gave him a pat on the back and an approving smile.

“I’m sure whoever you dedicated that game to felt proud of you. You did well, Wakatoshi. All of you.”

Ushijima’s team was awarded medals and a trophy. The teams stayed behind for the interview. The crowd made their way out of the gymnasium. Some stayed behind, hoping to get a picture with the athletes. Ushijima wiped his sweat with a towel. He was told that he was going to be interviewed so he made himself as presentable as possible.

The interview questions were the same as always. 'How was the game? How did you feel? What words can you say about your opponent?' and other more things like that. Ushijima answered them as briefly as possible. He wanted to go home, maybe cuddle up in his bed with his cat.

He was answering a question when something caught his eyes. His breathing hitched. He swore, he saw someone with red hair. He felt silly thinking it could be Tendou but he couldn’t help but hope it was him. The man has his back on Ushijima. His hair was brushed down and cropped shorter than Tendou. There’s no way it was him. 

But then, the man turned and Ushijima almost lost his breath. He didn’t waste any time apologizing to the interviewer and running towards the red head. They made eye contact and Ushijima swore it felt like they were the only people in the room.

“Tendou,” he cried as he hugged the man. 

“Ah, you found me again,” Tendou chuckled as he held Ushijima’s face. “You did well out there. It brought me to tears seeing how you conquer that court.”

“You’re here,” Ushijima looked at Tendou. In return, Tendou wiped Ushijima’s tears away with his thumb. Tendou brushed Ushijima’s bangs away from his forehead before planting him a kiss. 

“I’m sorry for being selfish. I left because I want to be a better person. Not just for you but for myself too,” Tendou’s voice was gentle. “But I’m here now. I’m right here.”

People were staring but the two didn’t mind. “Don’t leave me like that,” Ushijima begged. It broke Tendou’s heart. “Please don’t leave me like that again. Don’t leave me.”

“I’m not,” Tendou kissed the tips of Ushijima’s fingers. “I’m not going to leave. I’m not running away anymore.”

Ushijima nodded. He didn’t let go of Tendou. He was afraid that if he did, he would slip past his fingers, unable to reach back. He looked at Tendou, with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. Tendou felt like he was melting.

“You’re a baby when you cry,” he teased which made Ushijima smile. Ushijima held his hand and kissed it. 

“Thank you for bearing the weight of the world with me,” Tendou pressed their foreheads together. Ushijima could tell that he was so close to crying. “I love you so fucking much, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima felt all his emotions flooding his system. He picked Tendou up and twirled him around. The sound of Tendou’s giggles filled Ushijima’s ears. God, how he loved it whenever Tendou laughed. Ushijima didn’t care what others thought. None of that matters. What matters is Tendou was here now, in his arms once again. He wouldn’t trade anything over this. 

"Fuck, I love you," Tendou whispered. Ushijima responded by crashing his lips into his. Cheers erupted, loud claps were heard. They both smiled into the kiss.

"If you decided to leave again, I'll tear the whole world down just to find you."

Tendou laughed. "Trust me, I'm not planning to."

Tendou wondered if he chose a different apartment to crash for the night, would life be different for him? Ushijima wondered if he slept early that night, if he hadn't drunk that energy drink his teammate offered him, would life be different?

Both of them realize that they didn't have an answer. It doesn't matter anyway. Tendou thought, maybe the universe wasn't so mean after all. 

In each other, they found comfort. Finally, Tendou was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I hope you're all alright. Life may always seem cruel and unfair, but maybe a little push from someone will help. I didn't plan to have a happy ending actually. I intended it to be more sad but I couldn't do it. I can't put them in a situation like that because it actually breaks my heart. These two deserve all the love there is in the world. (Yes, I'm very soft for UshiTen)
> 
> If you have reached this far, thank you. Thank you so so so so much. I appreciate you. =] I apologize for any typographical and grammatical errors I might have overlooked. I just kept crying while editing it. I'm so sorry.
> 
> Again, thank you for your time!


End file.
